You mean I'm not invincible?

I am not invincible. I think every runner has that humbling moment at some point. Some of us have them over and over. It doesn't stop you from keeping on going and trying, but it serves as a reminder.

Just because you ran 6.2 miles on a warm morning doesn't mean you can repeat that at 11a.m. in full sun/limited shade and 85 degrees.

Today was that reminder for me and for one of the first times it was too much for me. I pushed myself too hard and if I hadn't stopped, I probably would have a massive case of heat exhaustion about now. The run was going great til just after 1.5 miles. I should have turned around and I may have keep going better, but no. I'm tougher than that, turning around would be failure so I pushed on for another half mile. Then i realized my mistake. I was overheating. I turned around and started on my way home. Wound up walking more than half of that distance home and even stopping under a tree for a sit for about 5 minutes.

I completed this 4 mile run, but have definitely learned the importance of going early in the morning during the summer. Next time, I won't be so damn stubborn. If I don't get out there, I won't try to make it happen.

Current internal debate:

Is working 6 days a week, but less hrs/day more or less exhausting than cramming the same amount of work into 5 days.

I'm really thinking about retracting my weekend availability at the coffeeshop to only be T, Th, Fr with absolutely no weekends..

Either way I'll have to work both places. It's just a matter of what days and what effect that would have on my overall attitude and exhaustion level.

I'm leaning on the side of having full weekends back. I like weekdays at the coffeeshop, I want to kill people during the weekend because I already don't want to be there, let alone putting up with their high maintenance bs, the inevitable supply shortages. And when it comes down to it, 1 day off a week is not enough to accomplish much of anything.....

My mind just might be made up.....

sigh

Kind of funny to look at my blog and read my very low recent entry next to my "about me" section which is all happy and positive.

It's been 2 years of major life change and I can't be sunshine and rainbows about it all the time.

In running news, I did a 10K on saturday and completed it in 1 hr 11 min and 50 sec. Not near my goal of 65 minutes, but I felt good during it. My average run leading up to this 10K was a lot shorter than last year's 10K too which has an effect.

I will admit, I have kind of a problem, an addiction may be a more accurate description. I love races! It's kind of a problem because there's so many races, so little money.....

you're invited to my pity party

I'm in a bit of a low place right now. Maybe it's post wedding depression. Maybe I'm burned out. Maybe I'm just tired of feeling powerless and a failure on a regular basis.

Maybe it's a combination of all three.

Maybe its nearing 30, being married and just waiting and waiting for things to turn back around. Wanting to move onward with life, go back to having fun and not worrying about every penny I spend and what that means. For over 2 years, my life has been in a tailspin professionally. All I'm left doing is looking forward feeling like I'm in a boat with only 1 broken oar.....

Week 3

Week 3 of training had its ups and downs:

Wins:
1) I made it out for that long run -- 4.8 very long miles. It was hard and I'm glad my friend Sue Ellen joined me for the 2nd loop around the lake because I was losing motivation.

2) Went for a 75 minute bike ride and the only stops were at stoplights. Amber and I kept a good pace on the bikes too. Discovered the many points along Valleyview road are just easier to ride on the road rather than the trail. We did about 11.4 miles total!

Middle of the road:

Nutrition. I did ok in the beginning of the week, by the weekend I fell off. I tried hard, but wound up making a few bad choices, although I didn't go insanely over so the sheer amount of calories I burned this week may make up for any of those overages.

Loses:
Sunday thru Tuesday I was too busy/tired to work out. So I skimped on working out. I anticipated being too tired today which is why my long run was done yesterday.


One thing thats bumming me out is how often the phrase "tired" or some variation on it has crept into my verbiage. I'm having a lot of problems lately getting back into working how I was before the wedding. I'm just ready to be done. To be working 1 job, have weekends and normal scheduling. But because I know that I don't have that mythical full time job, I'm stuck in my current situation. Knowing that I'm stuck sends me back to that dark place when I felt stuck in Rochester. It comes through in my dwindling attitude at the shop. It comes through in how hard it is to get up and get going to work on time. Will I ever get beyond this continual loop of being stuck?

Why does this feel like starting over?

I "officially" entered training for that whole half marathon thing about a week and a half ago. My first week was more of a free form attempt to ramp up my active days. My 2nd week was about trying to follow the program I picked out.

Successes this week:

1. Tracking my food - I've returned to the diligence of watching my diet and am back to where I was in the beginning of winter: 130.2 lbs.
2. Exercised 5/6 days so far including biking, running, intervals.
3. bought new swimsuits - 2 BIKINIS!
4. I signed up for a 10K in 3 weeks

Failures: -- luckily few, but warning: I may swear here

1. F*ck this is hard! 2.5 - 3 miles is really hard! I want to die/walk within minutes of starting. 
2. Strength training: I totally half butted it. 

I miss 5 miles being normal. I want to beat myself over the head for feeling that its a failure, that its hard again to run 3 miles, but its frustrating! It's like starting over and it sucks. 

But yes, in the grand scheme of things, this is going to be hard. 13.1 miles is not supposed to be easy or everyone would do it. So I'm going to stop whining now. I have 3.5 hours of free time before I need to get ready for work. Time for yard work!