Believe

If YOU don't believe in yourself how can you expect anyone else to?

So much power in that one statement. I saw this on my twitter feed today and it definitely made me pause. I had just been reading professional updates of acquaintances and feeling down on myself for where I'm at in life compared. I was sinking into my own little mental pity party and then I saw that quote. It's like it was meant to be there for me to read.

I need to stop feeling bad. I, too, would be  midlevel in my career, but I've been thrown a curve ball. I had to start over at 29. Its hard not to be impatient. Its hard not to get down on myself, but hating myself isn't going to help me move forward. Being angry about the things that have happened, isn't going to help me excel at my new path. So I've managed to avoid this pity party. Someday, I'll get to be midlevel. Of course, everyone else will be upper level so I'll probably still feel behind and unsuccessful... but I'm going to try to believe in myself more. no one can do that for me.

food tracking

It's proven if you food journal and accurately track your food (meaning full disclosure, no lying about that handful of m&m's you ate), you will lose weight. So I'm back on the tracking bandwagon.It's not that I'm not happy with my weight. I'm actually content where I am, but I'm at the upper end of "healthy" weight so I'd like to see if it would be possible to knock off a few more. I've been able to up my activity and hopefully combining that with this tracking, that just may happen.

Let me just say... tracking is hard. Its hard to be honest. This isn't homework so the only person you cheat is yourself by lying.  Its hard to scrutinize every bite I take, but I'm on this journey, one I hope produces some good results. The site I use recommends 1200-1550 calories per day. 1200? That is just not realistic, but the upper end is definitely do-able with willpower. We'll see how this goes again...

goals -- Running

I was participating in a runner chat tonight via twitter and one of the questions regarded 2012 goals. On the fly I came up with less races, but more pleasure running. More strength training and sprints. It got me further thinking about what my goals actually are for 2012 so here it goes:

1) run 400 miles this year. I did 200 in 2010; 330 in 2011. I think 400 is a respectable increase.

2) Seriously, less races. I did 6 or 7 and almost signed up for countless others. Races are expensive. It's a great way to have something to work towards and also donate money to charity, but when it costs 30-60$ for the average race and I make paupers wages, its not sustainable. It also creates its own fatigue of constantly planning for a race. In the beginning I needed a race to make me run. I no longer need that. So 2012 is the year of the fun run. I have some races that I get for free as a member of the MDRA, but I will refrain from too many extraneous expensive races.

3) Strength training.... the bain of my existence. I don't enjoy it. I always feel like a dope doing the exercises, even though I know more than I give myself credit for and worst of all I avoid pushing myself too hard so that I don't wind up sore and unable to run. But I've plateaued for speed and body changes. The only way to change is to do something different so I will be bonding with those weights this year more often.

4) Sprints.... the other dirty word. Nothing makes me feel more like an idiot than doing sprints on my own on the road. I'm rarely self conscious about how I look running, except when I'm doing sprints. In my head every passerby is giggling at me 'trying to run fast'.  but last time Amber and I incorporated them we saw drastic improvement in our overall speed so this year will also see those sprints making an appearance.

5) If I'm able to do so, I will do another half marathon.

So there it is. There will also be more yoga and flexibility work, but the other 5 are the big ones. May this year be another wonderful year of pounding the pavement, erasing failure one step at a time.

My next post will be on non-running goals, but I need some time to let those marinate....

Sometimes we surprise ourselves...

You never truly know just what you're capable until you just shut up and do it.

This whole weekend I've been putting off a run. I slept in on Saturday and then again today. I laid on the couch watching the day pass away along with my motivation to get out there. The daylight was fading. Even though I'd been dressed for this run since noon. I wasn't moving. Finally at just before 4, I made a decision. I had to run. I couldn't waste this day. I couldn't start out my week without a run. Every week that I miss that opportunity, its suddenly Thursday and I have yet to make it out there. But the last 3 weeks, I've gone out for that weekend run and it has made all the difference. This starts week #4 of working out 3x or more and I feel better than I have in a while. I'm also tracking my calories religiously hoping to get back on track.

I set out with the low expectations of a 3 mile run. I powered up the hills near my house and hit 5K in a record 31:03! After that I could have stopped and just gone home but the little voice in the back of my head said, "You should see if you can PR in a 10K" so I trudged on powerfully. As I approached 5 miles, I almost stopped. Daylight was waning quickly but deep down, I needed to hit 10K. I needed to prove to myself that I could still do that distance. And... that I could do it quickly. So that's what I did. I made little loops around the neighborhood and crossed my invisible finish line of 10K at 1h 3min!

For reference, my first 10 ever was 1:9:58 and I'd struggled to even get close to that time since.

So I sit on my couch now, writing. I'm exhilarated at what I just did and encouraged.....

Hello 2012. Hello house projects!

When we get bored.... walls come down. When we get bored, things get painted.

B is currently downstairs starting the rearrangement of our basement. 1st step was to take out the wall between the laundry and bathroom. Then out came the shower. Now in its place he's building a nice platform for our washer and dryer. They'll finally be side by side and 2 feet off the ground when this is done!

Eventually, much more work will occur in the basement. Right now, I just want my laundry and dryer back....

I am of no use in the basement so I am channeling my energy into painting the beams in the dining room. Hopefully in a week or so I can have all of the beams done..

New Year, Fresh Start 5k

To ring in 2011, I ran the Polar Dash 5K and it was a truly amazing experience, one I hoped to repeat for 2012. I waited anxiously for that registration to open and when it did, I was crushed to find out the prices had jumped to an unreasonable (for a 5K) $45. I found myself thinking: It's just a 5K. I can do that for free any day. I often do that for free in cold weather. What incentive is there to sign up for this this year and spend that much money? 

So my running buddy and I decided that we would much rather do our own unofficial 5K closer to home and just collect a free will donation among friends for a charity. We even named our little unofficial 5K, the Fresh Start 5K. Capturing upon the optimism of a new year. We made little goodie bags for up to 10 participants and joked that the weather was unseasonably warm in MN and we may end up in t-shirts. 

Well, dear Mother Nature in MN, decided otherwise. December 31st a storm went through and dropped snow (which first melted and formed a nice icy underlayer) and gave us 20mph winds with 30+mph gusts. While the temps were about 20 degrees warmer than the prior year, this race would still prove to give us a weather challenge. 

But 7 of us showed up and we had an amazing little 5K run. We trudged over ice, and snow and pushed against wind gusts, but in the end, we all won. We won our proverbial winter running bad ass points. We won a healthy kick off to 2012. And for Amber and I, I think we found ourselves a new focus: plan an actual race for Jan 1st, 2013. 

Details; I finished in 33:10. Not a PR like the Polar Dash time of (31:23) but I'm content and I kick off a 2 full year of serious running and 3rd year overall....