training update, motivation, planning ahead

10 miles.

1 month ago if you told me I'd plan to and succeed at running 10 miles, I may have laughed at you. Not because I was capable, but because my training had faltered and I was having issues even getting out for 3 miles, let alone 6+.

I'm on target for distance, but pace has definitely slowed back down to about an 11 minute mile. I'm not loving the slowed pace, but I have been concentrating on making those runs progressively harder with the distance climbed. During my half last year my climb was 891 feet. Over the past 3 weeks my long runs have been 449 ft, 557 ft and then 501 ft. Probably helps explain the slower pace. Today I threw in some trails for good measure as this will be a trail half I'm doing.

Today's motivation came not from music but from an audiobook. I've been reading a lot online (some ... believe it or not, fan fiction for some shows I watch. Never really imagined myself as the fan fiction reading type. From what I've read though it makes me feel quite normal for all of the imaginary tales i send characters on outside of the show or book when I'm trying to fall asleep) and also been working on some other books sitting in my queue. All the fan fic got me in the mood for a good old fashioned crime novel (I read more historical fiction and non-fiction as of late) so I started an audiobook version of Patricia Cornwell "Scarpetta". I've been following her series since probably 8th grade so it was rather comforting to settle into something familiar. I'm about a quarter of the way done now between the run and then listening several times throughout the day. It was just what I needed for my run. Instead of focusing on the song and whether it pepped me up or the inevitable commercial breaks on Pandora, I got the soothing rhythm of a book. It's not ideal for shorter runs, but when you know you've got nearly 2 hours of running ahead of you, it was quite helpful.

Also motivating: chalk messages left for other runners. There must have been a 5K or some kind of fun run event at that park on Saturday because there were all sorts of messages of encouragement directed at the runners. When I was struggling to get going and then when I was in that hard final mile, seeing those messages was just what I needed. Whoever did it did not intend it for me, but it was fun pretend someone was cheering me on.

I'm 20 days out. This means 1 more long run - aiming for 11-11.5 miles and then something I've never tried: tapering. The weekend before I'm planning to instead hit the trails and work on a short but challenging hill workout.  I will do some quick research on tapering but right now I think I'm onto the right idea.
20 days seems so far away yet I know its really not.

My time last year was around 2 hr 36 min. This year my goal is 2 hr 30 min. No miracles, but hopefully less walking than occurred last year!

the long run

A strange thing happens when you set out for a long run. Last year as I was training for my first half, I was more focused on worrying that I'd ever be able to finish a long run. This year, I entered training knowing that I can run the distance. I had a rough patch in August and was on the verge of giving up, but the past few weeks, I've reinvigorated my training. It's on these past few runs I've finally truly noticed the phases of a long run. 

What would typically constitute a regular run is now your warm up. Those first two miles feel awkward, but you take it slow. But there is a distinct moment when its no longer awkward. Your pace picks up. Maybe it's because that perfect song came in on the rotation of your playlist. Maybe its because you're just about to pass another runner or a walker (that's all I seem to be able to pass are the walkers). Either way, your focus shifts, your head is held a little higher. Determination is written all over your face. Your warm up is over and now you're in it for the long haul. 

The next several miles after that are a rotation of struggle and ease, but overall, you've found your stride. Your pace levels off as well. These are the glorious miles. This is when I feel the zen of running. I feel the joy as push myself up and down the hills. I become one with my world around me. I still fight off the desire to walk, to stop and give up but each time I fight it, I feel stronger.

But the joy  fades once I exit my "comfort zone". For me, this is around 7 or 8 miles. The voices telling me to stop increase.  I can feel my muscles screaming at me that they're done. They threaten mutiny. Each hill becomes a formidable foe. i'm no longer on the offense. But that is the point of the long run, to push you from your comfort zone. Its not about being able to run those miles quickly, its just about being able to do them. Its about seeing that comfort zone stretch from 3 miles to 6 and then to 8 and eventually 10+. 

Running can teach me more about patience and life than any book. Running is my proof that I'm capable of more than I think. Its a lesson in trusting the process. Running is cheaper than any therapist.  I'm at my best when I pay attention. 

I only have 2 weeks of long runs left. I'm aiming for 10 next weekend and 11.5 the weekend after that. Then I taper in the 2 weeks leading up to the run. 

Where were you?

11 years ago tomorrow.

Over a decade ago, I was in college. A junior fresh back to school for another year. My sorority met at 7a.m. that fall because no other time worked to get our membership together. Otherwise, I didn't have class until late so I begrudgingly dragged myself to this 7a.m. house meeting. It was a gorgeous morning in Ripon. The meeting adjourned somewhere around 8a.m. and my roomie and I arrived back at our dorm room, turned on our tv to get ready for the rest of the day.  We saw the news. We saw the hole from the first plane, debated the size of the plane. I thought it was just a small plane, Liz knew it had to be bigger than I gave credit for. As we sat there, the 2nd plane hit. There was no more debate.

All I remember now is the horror of watching the drama unfold on live TV. I was far away but all I could picture was those towers I saw from Newark airport in June. All I could think is that I was so relieved my first trip ever was in June, or my mom would never have let me go after this.

Then collapse.

But in Wisconsin, life had to keep going. I'm pretty sure I had class to go to. The rest of the details fade away, but I will never forget where I was when it happened.

Where were you?

another fail

was going to do 7 miles yesterday, decided to wait until today. Then proceeded to wait until 10a.m. to go. It was already 80 degrees. Even my shady path couldn't help me make it past 2.7.

I feel like I'm doing everything wrong this time around training and the more I desperately want to get back on track, the more I set myself up for failure. I don't know what happened to me since July and it makes me want to cry in frustration.

Training? What training?

Sigh. August killed my motivation. My promising start in July pittered out as the temps stayed in the 80's. We had a reprieve, but by that point running was not a habit, but a mere chore I kept putting off. The anxiety grew.

But that is over. It is September. I need to stop dwelling. The next couple weeks are going to mean harder runs than I had been used to, but they absolutely need to happen.

Today, despite hot weather. Despite working all morning, I made myself get out there. 2.75 miles with some good hills and even a small hill repeat session. Happy September 1st. I've run 2x this week, which is improvement.

For many, the new year equals renewal, for me, 17 years spent in school, September is ingrained in me as its own new year. The beginning of school. New pencils, books, notebooks, new clothes, bought in August sitting for weeks just waiting for that first day. The agony of the wait to use them. The clothes and supplies sitting there teasing me. The anticipation of what that new school year would bring. The fresh start.  Its still inside me. While I'm no longer in school, September 1st is a chance to refocus. To look at those promises made January 1st, assess what has been accomplished and set out on a mission to achieve those goals lost in the last 8 months.

While I wilted in August, as the crispness takes over the air, I renew my commitment to running the half marathon I signed up for.

I renew commitment to a healthier lifestyle filled with running, better eating habits and yoga.

I renew my plan for a repeat of last year's Fresh Start 5K (I kinda need to start planning this!).

I renew my commitment to myself and getting life back on track.