I had my first dream about running a marathon. I don't remember much of it except for crossing the mile 20 mark. That may be all of the dream, but that snippet tells me that despite my adamant stance that I would never want to do one, my subconscious is starting to accept it. So 2014?
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Shock
The shock and horror of Monday's events in Boston are wearing off. I remember similar shock and horror at most of the recent tragedies around the country but this one resonated with me.
Yes there are many tragic things going on at any given point in the world. They are terrible and I'm in no way meaning to elevate the status of this event above that of another. There are places in the world where people don't even feel safe to go to a market without worrying of bombings. This one just hit close to home that is all. Not because I know anyone in it or anything but because I'm a runner.
My heart ached on Monday for the spectators who were there just to cheer on people they knew and didn't. I pictured friends who have cheered me on at my own races (much smaller races of course). Ached for the people out there pushing their bodies to the extremes (as I've been there, maybe not for 26.2 miles). People leaving nothing behind and just running. People robbed of the feeling of crossing the finish line. I thought of the hours they spent preparing, the sacrifices made so they could qualify and run Boston, only to have it blown apart. The horror in the details of the timing of the explosions, how they meant to corral and inflict the most damage. I found myself Monday thinking it was something of movies, of fiction. "It can't be real." Unfortunately, it was not a work of fiction.
Many times during events like this, I feed on the details. This is the first time, I've found I have a true aversion to knowing the details. I don't know if it would be more comforting for my psyche to know it's 1 crazy person or a whole sleeper cell of crazy. I refuse to read, watch or have anything to do with the media on this event.
24 hour news and the pressure to break the details first. I'm over it. There have been far too many large scale tragedies (school shootings, movie theatres, bombs) and every time I feel the overwhelming amount of chatter wears me out. I become less able to tolerate the "news for the sake of news" attitude. The over playing of the horrific pictures and videos.
Today (4/17) I ran. I ran for myself but I also believe deep down that I pushed it a little harder for those who's final push toward the finish line got cut short.
Yes there are many tragic things going on at any given point in the world. They are terrible and I'm in no way meaning to elevate the status of this event above that of another. There are places in the world where people don't even feel safe to go to a market without worrying of bombings. This one just hit close to home that is all. Not because I know anyone in it or anything but because I'm a runner.
My heart ached on Monday for the spectators who were there just to cheer on people they knew and didn't. I pictured friends who have cheered me on at my own races (much smaller races of course). Ached for the people out there pushing their bodies to the extremes (as I've been there, maybe not for 26.2 miles). People leaving nothing behind and just running. People robbed of the feeling of crossing the finish line. I thought of the hours they spent preparing, the sacrifices made so they could qualify and run Boston, only to have it blown apart. The horror in the details of the timing of the explosions, how they meant to corral and inflict the most damage. I found myself Monday thinking it was something of movies, of fiction. "It can't be real." Unfortunately, it was not a work of fiction.
Many times during events like this, I feed on the details. This is the first time, I've found I have a true aversion to knowing the details. I don't know if it would be more comforting for my psyche to know it's 1 crazy person or a whole sleeper cell of crazy. I refuse to read, watch or have anything to do with the media on this event.
24 hour news and the pressure to break the details first. I'm over it. There have been far too many large scale tragedies (school shootings, movie theatres, bombs) and every time I feel the overwhelming amount of chatter wears me out. I become less able to tolerate the "news for the sake of news" attitude. The over playing of the horrific pictures and videos.
Today (4/17) I ran. I ran for myself but I also believe deep down that I pushed it a little harder for those who's final push toward the finish line got cut short.
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