A project

So about a month and a half ago, I got the urge to clean out my drawers. I wound up with a pile of 27 tshirts I do not wear from the many races, volunteer events and sorority bid days I went through in my adult life. These tshirts have moved from college to Minneapolis to Rochester and back to Minneapolis with me. I couldn't part with these due to sentimental value, but I didn't exactly wear them either. Does anyone really need to see me walking around as an advertisement for a blood center or know that I was in Delta Psi as part of the 2002 bid day? No, probably not. Will anyone ever even buy those shirts at a thrift store?? Of course not! Do I want to be that obnoxious person who always wears shirts from the races she's participated in? Oh heck no. So they sat in the drawer, taking up more and more room.... that is until this year. Being done with the clutter, I decided it was high time to turn them into the t-shirt throw I've been wanting to make for ages. I decided to go with a double sided quilt with 9 blocks on each side. I decided to start with the philanthropy/running/blood center tshirts for this quilt. Here is my pile of tshirts:

I did much research online about what I would need in order to turn this pile of tshirts into something resembling a quilt. I found out I should get a fusible fabric interface. A cutting mat and cutting wheel would be helpful too. Not wanting to buy these, I sent out a message to my womens group looking for anyone who had these supplies. For the fusible fabric, I went to the fabric store and just asked for some guidance. That's what the employees are there for and I got a lot of helpful advice from the lady who cut my fabric for me.

I started by separating the front of the t-shirt from the back (see above)  The first side was a lot of trial and error for me to get the right system down for cutting the tshirts and fabric to the right size. Repeatedly, I mis-measured my blocks to be 13" instead of 14"x14". Whoops.

My first block (EEEE!!!):

And the reverse side of the block, fused to the interface. This interface keeps the t-shirt from stretching, rolling and warping like t-shirt/jersey material is prone to do. This stuff would be great if I ever have to hem my dear husband's workout pants again....

The first half took me over 4 hours of cutting, fusing and sewing blocks together. I learned the hard way to sew three rows and then sew those rows together. Lesson learned during the first side was applied to the 2nd side and it went way better! I laid my blocks out to get the optimal color coordination. The cat was soooo helpful......

The finished first side:

Its not perfect by any means, but I think it turned out pretty cool! It took almost a month, but I finally resumed the process for the 2nd side. This is where I figured out the system:

1) cut apart tshirts

2) cut  interface  to about 14" wide x whatever width the interface came in (about 2') x 9

3) fuse interface to backside of t-shirt on all shirts

4) cut all blocks to 14" x 14". The first cut was done with the shirt design side up so I could center it before cutting. This time I only screwed up 1 block by making it only 13" wide

5) layout blocks to get proper ideal order 

6) sew top 3 together, repeat next two rows

7) sew rows together.

The end result of side 2:

And here are side 1 and 2 together:

Because sides 1 and 2 should eventually line up in order to tie them together, I used side 1 as a template to help sew together side 2. 

Next up in the process, I need to buy some batting for between the two layers. Then I will tie them together at each corner. The final step will be binding them together around the outside with fabric. Stay tuned for those steps. I may just have a nice little lap throw just in time for fall!

weekends

ARE AWESOME!

Especially after spending 1.5 years rarely getting them.

Granted, that habit of working 6 days a week is hard to kill. I find myself sitting here asking myself if I should be picking up more work. Sick, huh?  But I know 2 days off in a row is giving me my sanity back.... well... that may be a stretch. My sanity is getting restored to prior levels (what that level is, is up for debate).

I'm still concerned that I'm having issues with waking up in the morning, but something will snap me out of it. I'm not a morning person by nature. My perfect schedule would involve sleep from 12a-9a. Our society, though, thrives on morning people so I'm forever trying to change my natural routine to that of a more "normal" 10p-6a sleep cycle. I do start to feel great when I enter that cycle but in the end, its not natural for me. I think I only feel good because it usually involves lots of running.  I always used to joke that any plan that involved the phrase "why don't i just get up early and.... (fill in the blank)" was bound to fail.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow but for this morning I'll just stay in bed......

Motivation, where are you?

Never a good sign when in the last month I can count on 1 hand how many times I've been running.

Luckily I've been biking more and hit up boot camp in the park a couple times, but otherwise I've been a useless pile. And the longer my stints between runs linger, the harder it is to get out there. Sometimes I even get dressed only bail as I'm putting on my shoes, as I did this morning. I can't seem to get enough sleep.

I'm losing that ability to make myself get up for those early morning runs which are a necessity in the summer.

Maybe I need this little break but it's driving me crazy.

sensory overload

Yesterday started off great with a bike ride and some social time with a friend but it quickly turned moody for me. I think I just got surrounded with too many people and kids in a small space. It was draining to be in a small house with about 20 people and 10 kids (7 of which were under age 3). It probably would have been fine but then we went to our neighbors for a get together and I surrounded myself with about 10-15 different people in not so much space. I was already out of steam and pushed even harder. I was out of talking/social energy  and made it until 12:30 before just needing the comfort of bed. I didn't want to be completely alone though but dear husband didn't get the hints and stayed out til who knows when. So my annoyance from sensory overload, has turned into annoyance at him being exhausted (*hungover??? he won't admit to it) and wasting a beautiful day with him laying on the floor half asleep all day and crabby at me when I try to engage him.  granted, I didn't come up with anything else to do but it feels like it shouldn't always fall on me to come up with things.

As I type this I realize just how annoyed I am. More than I thought I was when I started this entry.

a reminder

After a brutal week of low energy, poor eating habits, a definite lack of running (not helping the low energy), and overall crabbiness, I'm back.

After spending what felt like more hours asleep than awake (I am pretty sure I slept more than 9 hrs/night every night last week starting on Wednesday) it culminated in spending about 14 hrs in bed from Friday-Saturday morning.  It took that much bed-time to make me finally start to feel "normal" again. By the end of the day, my energy was returning.

The problem with taking time off from running is that first day back is intimidating. Even just a week and a half off can easily build into more. In your mind you start building it up. "Ugh that first few minutes will be hard." "Just have to do half an hour, that can wait a little loner, right?" So successfully getting back out there was of utmost importance. So all past failures aside, I forced myself out the door. It was really hard. That first 1/2 mile felt awkward and wrong like something was wrong with my gait. I kept repeating to myself: just a half hour. That's all.... just a single half hour. And to some extent I started punishing myself for taking that time off. When it started feeling better, I picked up the pace. Giving myself the "that'll teach you" mental pep talk. I  pushed myself so hard I did 5K in under 30 minutes. Maybe a little too hard for the heat, but it was an awesome way to start my day. A reminder that each day is a new day. What you did or didn't do the day before doesn't matter, just get out there.

Ideas floating around:

Going back to school:
Bachelors to Nursing degree through the college of St. Scholastica St. Cloud campus (fall 2013 start)
CLS/MLS degree completion through UofMN or St. Cloud State
Nuclear Medical Technologist thru Mayo Health Sciences (Fall 2013 start)

I'm still drawn to health science related fields and just can't wrap my head around going for anything business/accounting related.

What would I do in the meantime?
Tread current water?
Figure out something else I can do part time like freelance work or ???
Get N.A. certification and work in a nursing home to figure out if aforementioned nursing programs are the direction I should go.

More questions than answers. this is just a free thought blog tonight.

when it's no longer worth it

I'm hitting that wall at the coffeeshop. I put in a soft notice. It took all weekend for me to work up the nerve to even do that! What I was leaning toward being a hard 2 week notice, was instead turned into the soft notice. It really was the best option and fortunately its the type of job that doesn't demand me to have an answer right away. So this morning after turning in my schedule from the bank for the next 3 weeks I mentioned that I understand if I can't be on the schedule and when I have a better idea of where my life was going, I'd be able to let him know more.

I just keep coming back to the thought "if I'm so unhappy, why do I keep doing it? There has to be more I can offer the world" Deep down I think i'm scared. I don't like change and its kept me rolling with my current situation for many months longer than it should. So my mission is to refocus. Life is too short to keep up what I'm doing and I will never be able to move forward in life if I don't change something.

Grateful

I've been wanting to write up a post lately but coming up blank on what to write about. Or better yet, I've had so many things I've wanted to write about I haven't been able to write about any of them. Does that even make sense? Maybe only in my warped view of the world. But here it goes:

The other day, a chiropractor visited one of my workplaces and gave a lovely talk on the power of nutrition and of course overall well being. In front of us a body stress survey was placed and everyone filled it out. As I glanced at the questions, I of course selected back pain. Immediately though I put the disclaimer that running and weight loss transformed my life and it's greatly diminished. Then went back and added, "oh yes and yoga and a new mattress." It made me pause and reflect on just how much has changed in 3 years. The changes have been gradual, but in the grand scheme I have undergone an extreme lifestyle change in a fairly short amount of time. My body has thanked me. I have energy I never used to have. I see myself doing things I never thought I would. I've lost weight (of course) and as a result, I no longer get back spasms from the simplest activity. I eat foods I never would have touched and the mantras I follow for my diet are more in line with holistic views. These internal changes are reflected in the way people view me. I'm no longer the girl sitting watching the world pass by stuffing her face with fake foods. I'm no longer running in place on the elliptical at the easiest setting wondering why i'm not getting anywhere. Yoga, running, weight loss and nutrition have not all entered my life at once, but this slow addition of each element has enriched my life in unidentifiable ways.

I may be overworked, broke and stressed about the general direction of my life but I can't imagine what it would be like if I still lived like I did 3 years ago and then added all of the aforementioned stressors. I was tipping the scales at 152 lbs on a 5'1" petite frame. I had resources around me - a city filled with bike trails and fairly clean air (compared to china or los angeles), lakes and tree line paths yet I couldn't even go up the littlest hill on my bike without wanting to die. I couldn't work a full 6 hour shift at the coffeeshop and not be in ungodly pain after. There were days I couldn't even stand up straight by the end of the day. Today after my 16.5 mile bike ride I am truly grateful that I've turned things around. It begins to feel like a broken record when I get going but I want to be that goodwill ambassador, spreading the word. This is my religious message to spread and it has. Many of my friends have joined me on this journey and I've seen the ripple effect.

My message is to start small. Find things you enjoy doing. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try something else because if you don't enjoy it,  you're not going to stick with it. Not everyone needs to run. I'm stubborn and apparently a bit sadistic (in that I like the torture of pushing myself so hard I want to puke) so it works for me but its not for everyone. Find your happy place and your body and the universe will respond.