38.5 weeks.... any time now. Really. Any time.
Its that awkward waiting time. I'm not uncomfortable or anything but been feeling ready to just get to the next steps... I'm at Mile 12 on the half marathon I'm using as a metaphor for pregnancy. Soooo close to the end but feeling like that last 1.1 miles (week or so of pregnancy) is going to stretch on forever....
Braxton Hicks contractions have been getting stronger. She has settled lower. I can breathe and not feel so winded all the time!!! I can eat without always feeling uncomfortably full. And I feel more of her movements in the lower 2/3 of my belly instead of up near the ribs/diaphragm.
Its still fun to look down and see my belly moving around. Surreal, but fun.
Around the house its just final organization/cleaning projects, stocking up on food and keeping on working on the basement.
Otherwise its just all about getting all my ducks in a row ready for my leave!
Ready to be done but also shocking to think that any day now she'll be here on the outside of me.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
37.5 weeks!!!!
SAY WHAT???
Very much on the home stretch around here. Last appointment I was informed I'm technically at full term but she's showing no signs of wanting to vacate yet....
Here's me at 37 weeks (last friday) - up 17 lbs total.... all in my belly!
Decorations went up in the nursery, all that's left is final organization/cleaning up the room and continuing to refinish the changing table and the closet. Well that's all that's left for her room... there's still a ton to do in the basement and a bunch of organization I'd like to accomplish in the bathrooms.
Not pictured yet are the constellation paintings on another wall. I'm so happy how her purple and teal outer space themed room turned out!
Childproofing... eh that can wait a few months!
I'm getting sooooo excited to meet her. We have the name figured out and still driving everyone crazy with our plans not to tell. Seriously people, you've waited this long, what's another couple weeks, right? I'm nervous about the process and about getting to know this whole motherhood thing but also feeling just ready to be on to the next step! She doesn't feel like she's dropped at all yet so not any time soon.
Very much on the home stretch around here. Last appointment I was informed I'm technically at full term but she's showing no signs of wanting to vacate yet....
Here's me at 37 weeks (last friday) - up 17 lbs total.... all in my belly!
Decorations went up in the nursery, all that's left is final organization/cleaning up the room and continuing to refinish the changing table and the closet. Well that's all that's left for her room... there's still a ton to do in the basement and a bunch of organization I'd like to accomplish in the bathrooms.
Not pictured yet are the constellation paintings on another wall. I'm so happy how her purple and teal outer space themed room turned out!
Childproofing... eh that can wait a few months!
I'm getting sooooo excited to meet her. We have the name figured out and still driving everyone crazy with our plans not to tell. Seriously people, you've waited this long, what's another couple weeks, right? I'm nervous about the process and about getting to know this whole motherhood thing but also feeling just ready to be on to the next step! She doesn't feel like she's dropped at all yet so not any time soon.
Monday, February 23, 2015
34 weeks!
34.5 week picture.... the belly is out and proud! She's moving around a ton still and pushing up on my diaphragm a lot! Bending over is starting to get a bit awkward. :) I am officially up 13.5 lbs to date.
The nursery is still miles from finished but I am making progress on prepping decorations including The following paintings all done by me....
The crib is assembled and today i found a steal on a 4 drawer drlesser for the room. Curtains have been found too! Now we just need to place the furniture and all my fun stuff needs to get up on the walls. Including my fabric planets below
Goals for the week: launder and start to put away her clothes into her dresser. Also work on refinishing the changing table/ cabinet.
And of course cleaning my house for my impending shower!
Its hard to believe we are anywhere from 3 weeks to 7 weeks away from meeting her!!!!
Monday, February 2, 2015
31.5 weeks
7-11 weeks left for full term depending on when this one decides to grace us with her presence. Not panicking. Nope.... not at all... and by not at all I mean I'm freaking out.
It also really may happen sooner. Hospital tours, birth classes, finishing the basement, getting the nursery together, showers... so much to plan for and do in this short amount of time....
Definitely freaking out.
Excited to meet her but right now focused on just how much is left to get in place. What I haven't done that I should have by this point. This feels like one of those situations where procrastination is not my friend. So for now lets focus on the cool/good things-
Good things that have me not freaking out:
She's moving around a ton now and I think I got my first few kicks to the ribs/my diaphragm. I love love love it all though. I love feeling the movements! Even when it impedes my falling asleep (at least with my schedule I know there's room for sleeping in!).
CRAFTING! I'm loving finally sitting down and putting some energy into crafting decorations for her space themed nursery. This has unleashed a crafty creative side of me that I don't get to tap into very often and its fun to know I'm putting together a special place for my little nerd in training. So far I've started some paintings and the planets that will adorn the wall above her crib. The planets turned out even better than I imagined they would and I'm just really ansty to get the room cleaned out and hang this stuff on the walls!
My belly! Its still small enough to not impede my general functioning.... although I'm slowing down a little at work. This is the only time one can be proud of a belly hanging out and poking through clothes and I'm embracing it!
Well that's all I have right now during this chaotic last weeks!
It also really may happen sooner. Hospital tours, birth classes, finishing the basement, getting the nursery together, showers... so much to plan for and do in this short amount of time....
Definitely freaking out.
Excited to meet her but right now focused on just how much is left to get in place. What I haven't done that I should have by this point. This feels like one of those situations where procrastination is not my friend. So for now lets focus on the cool/good things-
Good things that have me not freaking out:
She's moving around a ton now and I think I got my first few kicks to the ribs/my diaphragm. I love love love it all though. I love feeling the movements! Even when it impedes my falling asleep (at least with my schedule I know there's room for sleeping in!).
CRAFTING! I'm loving finally sitting down and putting some energy into crafting decorations for her space themed nursery. This has unleashed a crafty creative side of me that I don't get to tap into very often and its fun to know I'm putting together a special place for my little nerd in training. So far I've started some paintings and the planets that will adorn the wall above her crib. The planets turned out even better than I imagined they would and I'm just really ansty to get the room cleaned out and hang this stuff on the walls!
My belly! Its still small enough to not impede my general functioning.... although I'm slowing down a little at work. This is the only time one can be proud of a belly hanging out and poking through clothes and I'm embracing it!
Well that's all I have right now during this chaotic last weeks!
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
tick tock...
Its starting to sink in. 2.5 months left... or 3 months depending on how timely this little peanut is in her decision to enter the world. I'm trying not to panic or freak out but it definitely feels like I have so much to do and that I'll never be ready. I'm sure everyone goes through this and I'm definitely in full swing of it.
I feel good though! Sleeping a ton and I'm definitely noticing an increase in appetite as my nutritional needs increase in this last trimester. The belly is definitely popped out in full force and she's moving around in there a lot more. I feel oddly winded at times which is weird to feel as someone used to running half marathons. Sometimes I freak out that she's not moving enough but I think that's just first time jitters. She's getting stronger, so are the movements so I think it's just a matter of expectations of what this would feel like versus reality as well.
Down to visiting the doctor every two weeks so I'll probably have more to say after Thursday as I hit the 30 week mark!
I feel good though! Sleeping a ton and I'm definitely noticing an increase in appetite as my nutritional needs increase in this last trimester. The belly is definitely popped out in full force and she's moving around in there a lot more. I feel oddly winded at times which is weird to feel as someone used to running half marathons. Sometimes I freak out that she's not moving enough but I think that's just first time jitters. She's getting stronger, so are the movements so I think it's just a matter of expectations of what this would feel like versus reality as well.
Down to visiting the doctor every two weeks so I'll probably have more to say after Thursday as I hit the 30 week mark!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Thursday, November 20, 2014
just about 21 weeks... a bump pic
Yep... its poking out!
Still happily in regular clothes most of the time although i am very limited on pants options....
20 weeks!
Halfway there!!!!
No pictures of me still. I just can't seem to get a decent spot to take a side selfie that doesn't look ridiculous. But the belly is definitely popping out now!
Milestones:
Finding out what's in there and of course getting to share the news with everyone! And actually being able to see something on the ultrasound that resembled a human! It was so cool to see her moving around in there. I'm excited to meet her.... in about 19 weeks. I'm even beginning to feel a bit of movement.
Agreeing that we weren't going to share the name until she's born. It was nice for my husband to vocalize a preference. I was leaning toward that too so its great to be in agreement.
Realizing that I really need to pack away my non maternity clothes that won't work for a long time so I can put the maternity clothes I buy or borrow in my closet, instead of rummaging through the bins in the living room.
Cravings: None really. Oddly, I will feel hungry but for nothing in particular. I'm not forgetting meals but I'm also not very into them either.
Working out? Unfortunately we have snow and ice on the ground so I have been hibernating instead. I have done some yoga, but that's about it. This is definitely an area that expectation has not lived up to reality. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it too much though.
Other things going on:
No pictures of me still. I just can't seem to get a decent spot to take a side selfie that doesn't look ridiculous. But the belly is definitely popping out now!
Milestones:
Finding out what's in there and of course getting to share the news with everyone! And actually being able to see something on the ultrasound that resembled a human! It was so cool to see her moving around in there. I'm excited to meet her.... in about 19 weeks. I'm even beginning to feel a bit of movement.
Agreeing that we weren't going to share the name until she's born. It was nice for my husband to vocalize a preference. I was leaning toward that too so its great to be in agreement.
Realizing that I really need to pack away my non maternity clothes that won't work for a long time so I can put the maternity clothes I buy or borrow in my closet, instead of rummaging through the bins in the living room.
Cravings: None really. Oddly, I will feel hungry but for nothing in particular. I'm not forgetting meals but I'm also not very into them either.
Working out? Unfortunately we have snow and ice on the ground so I have been hibernating instead. I have done some yoga, but that's about it. This is definitely an area that expectation has not lived up to reality. I'm trying not to beat myself up about it too much though.
Other things going on:
- starting the day care search
- coming up with a plan for construction in the basement to get us to working on the nursery
Monday, October 13, 2014
Prego...
And not the sauce!
Part of me feels I should log something about this experience... so here I go?
So how far? 15w 3d
Weight gain? 3 lbs since last appointment 4 weeks ago. Up 6 to date. *only because I was post 2 half marathons in one month! I'm always at my lowest post half marathon training! Usual weight til now I'm only up 3 lbs.
Best thing this week: Going in for my appointment and hearing the heart beat again. 147 and strong.
I was unusually anxious about this appointment. Call it irrational fear that something went wrong in the last 4 weeks and it still not feeling real. I was actually missing the daily queasiness and exhaustion only because at least then it was a reminder. Being in the spot where I felt fine but its too early for movement I would almost forget I'm even pregnant. So this appointment more than anything was reassurance that all is good. :) Next appointment in a month we find out what it is!!!! I haven't had an ultrasound since week 8 so I'm really excited to see it too!!!!! And really excited to stop calling it... it.
Will we find out? YES YES YES. We're planners and need to know. Not so I can go all gender specific but so I can properly merge neutral and specific items. I'm getting antsy to start working on the downstairs office so we can clear out that room. As fall gives way to late fall/early winter that'll begin happening.
How am I feeling? Getting tired of the question because ultimately I feel completely like myself. i get tired a little faster and I'm still getting used to not freaking out at the slight belly popping out. It still looks like I've been lazy and eating too many donuts but the time is coming for maternity clothes for sure.
Cravings? Spicy food and mexican. Not really enjoying sweet things which is weird because usually I am a complete choc-o-holic. Its nice actually to not crave it. In fact its the only thing I notice I don't feel that great AFTER eating. I think that will help me avoid gestational diabetes hopefully!
Names? We have some top ones. Only 1 for a boy so far and a couple for girls. There's a spreadsheet.
Diet: I would like to think that I haven't changed too much of my diet because I was already eating a pretty healthy diet. Maybe just making that effort to eat more and eat regularly. No skipping meals like before! I need to get better at drinking water at work though.
Pictures.... Haven't taken any yet, but I might! as far as a professional maternity/newborn shot, I may ask my father in law because I just can't justify 500+ in money we don't have to get pictures done by someone else.
April seems so far away... but its unreal to think I'm almost halfway!
Part of me feels I should log something about this experience... so here I go?
So how far? 15w 3d
Weight gain? 3 lbs since last appointment 4 weeks ago. Up 6 to date. *only because I was post 2 half marathons in one month! I'm always at my lowest post half marathon training! Usual weight til now I'm only up 3 lbs.
Best thing this week: Going in for my appointment and hearing the heart beat again. 147 and strong.
I was unusually anxious about this appointment. Call it irrational fear that something went wrong in the last 4 weeks and it still not feeling real. I was actually missing the daily queasiness and exhaustion only because at least then it was a reminder. Being in the spot where I felt fine but its too early for movement I would almost forget I'm even pregnant. So this appointment more than anything was reassurance that all is good. :) Next appointment in a month we find out what it is!!!! I haven't had an ultrasound since week 8 so I'm really excited to see it too!!!!! And really excited to stop calling it... it.
Will we find out? YES YES YES. We're planners and need to know. Not so I can go all gender specific but so I can properly merge neutral and specific items. I'm getting antsy to start working on the downstairs office so we can clear out that room. As fall gives way to late fall/early winter that'll begin happening.
How am I feeling? Getting tired of the question because ultimately I feel completely like myself. i get tired a little faster and I'm still getting used to not freaking out at the slight belly popping out. It still looks like I've been lazy and eating too many donuts but the time is coming for maternity clothes for sure.
Cravings? Spicy food and mexican. Not really enjoying sweet things which is weird because usually I am a complete choc-o-holic. Its nice actually to not crave it. In fact its the only thing I notice I don't feel that great AFTER eating. I think that will help me avoid gestational diabetes hopefully!
Names? We have some top ones. Only 1 for a boy so far and a couple for girls. There's a spreadsheet.
Diet: I would like to think that I haven't changed too much of my diet because I was already eating a pretty healthy diet. Maybe just making that effort to eat more and eat regularly. No skipping meals like before! I need to get better at drinking water at work though.
Pictures.... Haven't taken any yet, but I might! as far as a professional maternity/newborn shot, I may ask my father in law because I just can't justify 500+ in money we don't have to get pictures done by someone else.
April seems so far away... but its unreal to think I'm almost halfway!
Monday, May 12, 2014
Caffeine
Oh my blessed coffee. I spent 3.5 years working in a coffee shop. I live and breathed the stuff. Back in 2011 I did a massive cutback and it was successful... but then I slipped. I reacquainted myself with it. Dove in and have enjoyed every delicious drop. It felt like I was too busy to go at life without it.
Well life is always busy and as much as I love the taste, the sensations involved with curling up with multiple cups of warm coffee, "needing" 3+ for daily functioning is a sign that its time to cut back.
Things I'm hoping to gain from this cutback:
Well life is always busy and as much as I love the taste, the sensations involved with curling up with multiple cups of warm coffee, "needing" 3+ for daily functioning is a sign that its time to cut back.
Things I'm hoping to gain from this cutback:
- realignment of sleep cycle. Working 2nd shift I often consume coffee til late in the day because drinking coffee 3 hours into my shift is comparable to a 1st shift person drinking coffee until 11 or noon. I'm hoping that by cutting my consumption by 1 or 2 p.m. I can be ready for sleep at more reasonable times like 1 a.m. instead of 3 or 4 a.m. What was productive and exciting "me" time loses its luster when I can't manage to rouse myself before 11a.m. on a regular basis
- save $! I brew at home but quality beans are expensive yo!
- Drink more water instead
This is also in preparation for the inevitable time I decide to embark on parenthood. Caffeine consumption is a restricted thing and I would rather not have to go cold turkey should the time arrive.
So here I go... off onto my caffeine cutback challenge. Note I am not giving it up completely. I did that in 2005 and it was a horrible disaster of an idea - think unfocused, groggy, foggy headed.
If this is successful, I plan on a tandem challenge of decreasing my sugar consumption.
Friday, March 7, 2014
VICTORY
File this one away for future interviews: I helped enact change.
Boom.
It feels great!
I feel accomplished. I feel hopeful. I feel hyper. I feel empowered. I feel optimistic and reinvigorated.
Spring is also beginning to creep its way slowly into the frigid MN air and I feel renewed energy as the daylight hours increase.
I am awakening too after a cold dark winter.
Life is good. It will keep getting better. The darkness is a lesson to appreciate the light.
feel free to tell me to "suck it Polly-Anna" anytime but you will not rain on my parade.
Boom.
It feels great!
I feel accomplished. I feel hopeful. I feel hyper. I feel empowered. I feel optimistic and reinvigorated.
Spring is also beginning to creep its way slowly into the frigid MN air and I feel renewed energy as the daylight hours increase.
I am awakening too after a cold dark winter.
Life is good. It will keep getting better. The darkness is a lesson to appreciate the light.
feel free to tell me to "suck it Polly-Anna" anytime but you will not rain on my parade.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
What's there to say about Wednesday?
Today was just one of those trying days that would have been better spent in bed. My subconscious agreed and I managed to turn off my alarm and wake up at 10:37 am.... 7 minutes AFTER I was supposed to be to work at job #1.... Thank goodness for a part time job where I set my hours and no one is depending on me for the most part. If they had been, I could have dragged myself from bed but instead, I arranged to work tomorrow. It'll mean a long day for a Thursday, but this time I'm ready. Clothes are set out for the two jobs. After this entry, I'm packing my lunch and going to bed because it's 2:30 a.m. and of course I'm still awake. So where was I going with this? Ahh yes, better day to have just stayed in bed. After getting the clearance to rearrange my work days, I did just that. Work out--- forget it!
So I walk in the door to my main job and I don't even make it from the locker room without hearing that it's a mess in there. Whee. In the past I may have gotten upset. Now it's just another day. I show up. In a sick way I'm happy its a mess because it means I have something to do. I set things up, some fail, but I don't get all upset and worked up. I like this new-ish zen but sometimes it just feels like I'm defeated. The passion has been deflated. I'm feeling used up.
I need a vacation.
So I walk in the door to my main job and I don't even make it from the locker room without hearing that it's a mess in there. Whee. In the past I may have gotten upset. Now it's just another day. I show up. In a sick way I'm happy its a mess because it means I have something to do. I set things up, some fail, but I don't get all upset and worked up. I like this new-ish zen but sometimes it just feels like I'm defeated. The passion has been deflated. I'm feeling used up.
I need a vacation.
Friday, January 3, 2014
2014 goals
Running:
Health:
Personal:
- 1 race per month. I need consistency in my life and having at least 1 race per month, official or unofficial will be really helpful
- 500 miles in 1 year. I've barely cracked 300 the past 2 years. It's time to up my game.
- Run Grandma's/Gary Bjorklund Half Marathon in June and finish in under 2:15
- Run Lola's half Marathon again
Health:
- Yoga & Meditation 2x a week - Yoga makes my running better. It makes me better overall. I miss it.
- Strength train more than sparingly
- Continue to make better food choices, incorporating more organic and cutting out more processed foods
Personal:
- Read 1 book a month - this shouldn't be that hard, but I have the attention span of a hummingbird on cocaine.
- Finish "Anna Karenina" I'm 40% in and refusing to give up!
- Rediscover the fun things of life - I feel like I work all the time and have little to show for it. Its time to find some balance, spend more fun time with husband
- Schedule friend time - working 2nd shift this is getting to be really important. Its too easy for me to be disconnected!
- Go on a vacation
- Finish unfinished projects - ahem! penguin ornaments, crocheting, painting, house stuff..
So here we go 2014!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
The November Blahs...
Mercury returned to normal. No more retrograde. I, unfortunately, have not returned to normal. I feel melancholy and sometimes borderline unstable. Stress at work and temporarily feeling the fact I work 49 hours/week, 6 days out of the week and really have no ability to take a day off if I need it without paying for it in other ways.
I know the strain is a temporary thing. I feel it now, but as quickly as I feel the burn out, it goes away and I'm magically fine with everything. I know why I hang onto the extra job. Until I'm certainly an employee somewhere, I won't let go. I need the comfort of it.
Last week was by far one of the worst weeks I had and I think I'm just a bit shell shocked still. The honeymoon is over with work for sure!
I know the strain is a temporary thing. I feel it now, but as quickly as I feel the burn out, it goes away and I'm magically fine with everything. I know why I hang onto the extra job. Until I'm certainly an employee somewhere, I won't let go. I need the comfort of it.
Last week was by far one of the worst weeks I had and I think I'm just a bit shell shocked still. The honeymoon is over with work for sure!
Friday, November 8, 2013
Mercury Retrograde
Something is off in my universe this week.
But I have a feeling I'm not alone. If you choose to believe in astrology Mercury is in Retrograde until the 10th.
That above sentence encompasses most of my drama this week. All week I've been feeling like I've pissed off the computing gods as I've encountered increasingly random and weird errors at work. I was one step away from personal meltdown tonight. It's probably good I don't have direct contact with the public during times like that.
Then there's the human aspect. I feed very easily on the energy of those around me, one of the drawbacks being an extrovert. Right now changes are abounding and the mood is circling the drain to say the least which makes me extra sensitive to extreme moods. In simple terms I end up feeling like rapid cycling bi-polar barbie. Bouncing off the walls one moment, ready to burn down the building the next.
Also rare: I'm crabby at my husband. Its not often I feel short tempered/annoyed at him and this week, it's probably good we're on opposite schedules as I barely made it through grocery shopping without wanting to scream at him.
As much as I'm a scientist and skeptic of most touchy feel-y things like astrology I really can't help but wonder at times like this if there is a higher explanation... or I'm just having a bad week and REALLY REALLY REALLY need to burn off some anxiety with a long overdue run.
But I have a feeling I'm not alone. If you choose to believe in astrology Mercury is in Retrograde until the 10th.
"All machinery and things with moving parts--such as computers, VCRs, camera equipment,
garbage disposals, and so forth, will reveal any weak links now. "
That above sentence encompasses most of my drama this week. All week I've been feeling like I've pissed off the computing gods as I've encountered increasingly random and weird errors at work. I was one step away from personal meltdown tonight. It's probably good I don't have direct contact with the public during times like that.
Then there's the human aspect. I feed very easily on the energy of those around me, one of the drawbacks being an extrovert. Right now changes are abounding and the mood is circling the drain to say the least which makes me extra sensitive to extreme moods. In simple terms I end up feeling like rapid cycling bi-polar barbie. Bouncing off the walls one moment, ready to burn down the building the next.
Also rare: I'm crabby at my husband. Its not often I feel short tempered/annoyed at him and this week, it's probably good we're on opposite schedules as I barely made it through grocery shopping without wanting to scream at him.
As much as I'm a scientist and skeptic of most touchy feel-y things like astrology I really can't help but wonder at times like this if there is a higher explanation... or I'm just having a bad week and REALLY REALLY REALLY need to burn off some anxiety with a long overdue run.
Monday, October 14, 2013
delusion?
Uh oh. I'm teetering past my 50/50 mark: where the yes's may be starting to outweigh the no's to do a marathon.....
1) aside from a couple healing blisters, I'm feeling pretty good. A little stiff but no more so than any other long run which tells me my body is stronger and recovering faster despite not training adequately for the half.
2) in the past during and even after I've said that I had no real desire to run further than the half. Not this time. Even during the hardest parts, I found myself thinking the marathon.
And now I find myself looking at potential ones for next year and not freaking out that I'm doing so and wanting to ask people if they've done it before, experience. I want to start planning training....
Oh dear. Falling down the rabbit hole....
1) aside from a couple healing blisters, I'm feeling pretty good. A little stiff but no more so than any other long run which tells me my body is stronger and recovering faster despite not training adequately for the half.
2) in the past during and even after I've said that I had no real desire to run further than the half. Not this time. Even during the hardest parts, I found myself thinking the marathon.
And now I find myself looking at potential ones for next year and not freaking out that I'm doing so and wanting to ask people if they've done it before, experience. I want to start planning training....
Oh dear. Falling down the rabbit hole....
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Big Woods Run Half Marathon 2013
The consistency of a training regimen had been absent thanks to a dreadful heat wave in late August/early September that killed all of my motivation. By the last 3 weeks I found myself only getting out for my long run but not completing any maintenance runs between. I would consider this training session's tagline to follow the cliche of the road to hell being paved with best intentions because I kept meaning to step it up. I kept meaning to try harder to squeeze in even a short run. Then suddenly it was a week before and the furthest I had run is 9.5 and that was filled with walking for the last 3.5.
Long story short, excuses and lots of them. So I woke up Saturday morning after a mere 4 hours of sleep, loaded up on a good breakfast and set out for the race with absolutely no expectations. Its a trail run so I decided that I would own up to my lack of training and if anything it would be a lovely walk through the state park. That's what I kept telling myself so that I would stop mentally beating myself up for not training adequately.... Now on to the actual race:
Pre-race, I couldn't get the music player on my phone to respond (my efforts to create a playlist of music were now just a waste). I checked my battery life and it was less than the amount of time I would be running so now I had to look forward to a quiet run no matter what and no way to tech to tell me just how I was doing. I had purposely chosen my phone belt over my water belt (deciding to fully utilize the water stops instead for a change) and now it would just be there non-functional. Great. I still wore it though. Why? Safety blanket I guess.
So I embarked on this run with my safety blanket, some homemade energy gel tucked in my sports bra (one of those hidden perks of being female! Sports bras make excellent storage spaces) and absolutely no confidence that this would be anything but a long painful yet pretty walk.
I tried to utilize Pandora radio for a bit so I could have some music and it was actually nice until I entered the park, then I realized the music was almost too distracting for me. Patchy coverage plus an overwhelming feeling that it was cheapening the splendor of the world around me so I tried an audiobook for awhile but that wasn't working for me that well either so I gave up. Next year, I'm leaving the tech in the car. Trail runs are so different than a road race. You're focusing on not tripping on roots, on the world around you. Its more than one foot in front of the other on even pavement where you need distraction.
The first 4 miles flew by. I felt great. I was in my happy place but I was facing the next 2 miles with a sense of anticipation. There's wicked hills at mile 6 and mile 9.5 and many many little hills in between. I knew it was coming which is either a good thing or a bad depending on perspective. So when I hit that mile 6 hill I owned up to it and walked. I knew i still had 7 miles ahead of me and no confidence of actually being able to finish. After mile 6, its a different race for me. My strategy changed from just keep running to "run while it feels good, walk when it doesn't" and actually that served me pretty well! Its also when my lack of proper training made itself fully aware. I started feeling twinges in my right calf muscle right after I'd be running and starting to feel like I hit my stride so I'd have to back off and walk which was incredibly frustrating.
I spent the whole race alternating between feeling blessed, happy & able to run and feeling utterly depleted, asking myself why I continually do this to myself. What kept me going? Knowing those moments of euphoria outweigh the despairing moments. A run like this is the closest I get to a religious experience. I had 2.5 hours to myself to think, to observe, to relish in the splendor of fall in MN. Two and a half hours to feel truly grateful.
I may be moving quite awkwardly today due to feet blisters & sore calves, but its worth it!
And, I beat my time from last year by 2 minutes somehow!
2011: 2:36
2012: 2:32
2013: 2:30
Thursday, August 15, 2013
patience, grasshopper
I have been feeling very frustrated lately. Frustrated with work. Frustrated with life. I, despite great strides in the spring about not sweating the small stuff and all the zen happiness that went along with it, had lost my way. Sleep has been a refuge and a prison. Oversleeping. Undersleeping. Eating badly. Not running. No regular yoga. All of the tools in my belt that contribute to my well-being have been absent.
I have felt myself melting into my own little pity party of angst. This has to stop.
What ends now?
- jealousy
-angst and worry
-impatience
What begins now?
-regular yoga practice
-running consistently
-better food choices
-getting up at a reasonable time and living life
-trust in the process
All of these may not happen at once but its time to refocus my efforts. Its time to remember that I have only been back in my field for 7 months. The skills I am obtaining in the industry could lead to more. I am not entitled to anything yet but in time there is a path that could unfold.
Breath and have patience.
I have felt myself melting into my own little pity party of angst. This has to stop.
What ends now?
- jealousy
-angst and worry
-impatience
What begins now?
-regular yoga practice
-running consistently
-better food choices
-getting up at a reasonable time and living life
-trust in the process
All of these may not happen at once but its time to refocus my efforts. Its time to remember that I have only been back in my field for 7 months. The skills I am obtaining in the industry could lead to more. I am not entitled to anything yet but in time there is a path that could unfold.
Breath and have patience.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Days 3&4
So .... plyo kicked my butt. There are muscles in there woken up that are not happy at the awakening. I'm moving pretty darn funny
That and I had an impromptu schedule change that negated any chance to do a work out so yesterday was a definite rest day.
Today, though, I woke up early and finally acted on my need to run. I'd been having anxiety about running which always happens when its been too long since my last one. I get anxiety because I haven't experienced the calming effects of a run and I get anxiety about that first run after a hiatus being difficult as it always is. But I got up and despite my screaming leg muscles got out the door for 2 miles. I could not push for 3 and you know what, I'm ok with that.
On tap today was Yoga X. 90 minutes of yoga. Yikes.
Expectations: super aggressive, fast paced vinyasas, aggressive hard to reach poses
Realty: Plenty of chattarangas & downward dog, but at a steady enough pace that I kept up and only fell out a few times. I did 70 of the 90 minutes due to time crunch. I can tell that even the tiny 2x a week sessions I'm doing currently have had a positive affect on my flexibility because this wasn't as bad as I have experienced in yoga classes in the past. I like this DVD and I think I'll look forward to yoga day! :)
My legs after yoga are feeling much better! So glad I made the effort to do this one!
That and I had an impromptu schedule change that negated any chance to do a work out so yesterday was a definite rest day.
Today, though, I woke up early and finally acted on my need to run. I'd been having anxiety about running which always happens when its been too long since my last one. I get anxiety because I haven't experienced the calming effects of a run and I get anxiety about that first run after a hiatus being difficult as it always is. But I got up and despite my screaming leg muscles got out the door for 2 miles. I could not push for 3 and you know what, I'm ok with that.
On tap today was Yoga X. 90 minutes of yoga. Yikes.
Expectations: super aggressive, fast paced vinyasas, aggressive hard to reach poses
Realty: Plenty of chattarangas & downward dog, but at a steady enough pace that I kept up and only fell out a few times. I did 70 of the 90 minutes due to time crunch. I can tell that even the tiny 2x a week sessions I'm doing currently have had a positive affect on my flexibility because this wasn't as bad as I have experienced in yoga classes in the past. I like this DVD and I think I'll look forward to yoga day! :)
My legs after yoga are feeling much better! So glad I made the effort to do this one!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
day 2: plyometrics
Woke up this morning only a bit sore. I can definitely tell muscles were worked yesterday. Nothing unmanageable though. Running has taught me to listen to my body and I would like to think I'm quite in tune enough not to push too far. Unfortunately that means I don't push hard enough sometimes. I think I pushed it just right.
Usually, this is where I'd go, "oh I'm sore. Guess its a rest day." Not this time. Todays DVD: Plyometrics.
Jump work outs, cardio. The runner in me knows these are the exercises I need to do to get my legs in better condition.
Expectations: hard, jumping & squats
Realty: Squats, squats & more squats...and some lunges.
Thoughts: I could keep up for the most part but definitely had to modify some of the exercises. I liked this one. We'll see how much my legs like me tomorrow....
Usually, this is where I'd go, "oh I'm sore. Guess its a rest day." Not this time. Todays DVD: Plyometrics.
Jump work outs, cardio. The runner in me knows these are the exercises I need to do to get my legs in better condition.
Expectations: hard, jumping & squats
Realty: Squats, squats & more squats...and some lunges.
Thoughts: I could keep up for the most part but definitely had to modify some of the exercises. I liked this one. We'll see how much my legs like me tomorrow....
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