I got home 2 hours ago. I've had the entire house to myself. Yet all I've managed to do is watch TV and put away the dishes in the dishwasher. My oodles of laundry awaiting folding... still sitting there as they have been for 4 days. Its moments like that I wonder how my husband can stand to live with me....
Hi my name is Erin and I would fail as a 1950's housewife.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Relief is in sight!
After 2 or so long years, my dear husband has finally found gainful employment! Things are definitely looking a lot rosier than they were about a month ago. It is a relief and marks the near end of a scary few weeks where I knew I would be the only income.
Other changes both good and bad: my hours are returning to normal levels at the bank (about 27 per week). This is something I have mixed feelings about because it further cements my dependence on my second job. The hidden ray of sunshine is I changed my availability at said 2nd job to no longer include weekends. It'll involve many long days during the week but in the end it'll give me 2 solid days off per week. We'll see how that goes....
On the running front:
I've incorporated 1 day per week of boot camp training. This is dedicated strength training time. I'm determined to get to the point I can do real push ups and not have to wimp out part of the way through and go to my knees. I feel stronger after going and I'm looking forward to seeing some positive changes as I reinvigorate my effort to lose those last 15 lbs. I have the scale headed in the right direction -- down 2.2 since starting boot camp.
I'm less than a month away from the 10 miler and 5 weeks away from my self imposed half marathon. I am not training nearly hard enough but I figure if I get out the next 3 weeks for the following: 6.5 m, 7.5 m, 8.5 m then 10 mile race and finally 13.1, I should do survive. :) What is it about me and my lack of training diligence after I prove I can make it a certain distance????? Will I be stepping up to that marathon level at this rate? I'm already thinking I should aim for a 15 miler! Also, why do I seem so fast and strong in March but weak and slow in April? What is is about this dang month that kills my motivation and my speed?
On the yoga front:
Meh... my inner yogi has been screaming out for stretching, but I just haven't been doing it. Why is it so hard to get the trifecta (run, stretch, strength) ?????
Other changes both good and bad: my hours are returning to normal levels at the bank (about 27 per week). This is something I have mixed feelings about because it further cements my dependence on my second job. The hidden ray of sunshine is I changed my availability at said 2nd job to no longer include weekends. It'll involve many long days during the week but in the end it'll give me 2 solid days off per week. We'll see how that goes....
On the running front:
I've incorporated 1 day per week of boot camp training. This is dedicated strength training time. I'm determined to get to the point I can do real push ups and not have to wimp out part of the way through and go to my knees. I feel stronger after going and I'm looking forward to seeing some positive changes as I reinvigorate my effort to lose those last 15 lbs. I have the scale headed in the right direction -- down 2.2 since starting boot camp.
I'm less than a month away from the 10 miler and 5 weeks away from my self imposed half marathon. I am not training nearly hard enough but I figure if I get out the next 3 weeks for the following: 6.5 m, 7.5 m, 8.5 m then 10 mile race and finally 13.1, I should do survive. :) What is it about me and my lack of training diligence after I prove I can make it a certain distance????? Will I be stepping up to that marathon level at this rate? I'm already thinking I should aim for a 15 miler! Also, why do I seem so fast and strong in March but weak and slow in April? What is is about this dang month that kills my motivation and my speed?
On the yoga front:
Meh... my inner yogi has been screaming out for stretching, but I just haven't been doing it. Why is it so hard to get the trifecta (run, stretch, strength) ?????
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
when the student becomes the teacher....
I've been running for 3 years. In that 3 years I've seen myself go from couch to 5K back to the couch, from the couch to 10K and then onward to half marathon. In 3 years, 20 lbs have been lost. In this 3 years, I've seen friends get turned on to running and have loved sharing the experience with them.
Somewhere along the line, I became bona-fide crazy runner. Somewhere between that 10K, the 5 miler in the snowstorm, the New Years Day runs, and the half marathon, I became a resource on the last subject I ever expected to be a resource.
And now, in a new venture, I'm putting this vast container of knowledge to use! For the next few weeks, I will be serving as a mentor 1x a week. This week I got to lead the newbies on the first day of the couch to 5K program. It was so amazing to see this diverse group get out and run. It was empowering to see women who had no intention of even running the 1 minute intervals in the program actually run those intervals. I was thrilled when I asked who wanted 1 more minute round and everyone was up for it! As we ended that last run interval, I asked, "who feels like they just did a 21 minute workout?" They were truly shocked how those little intervals added up.
Not only was I the time keeper, perky carrot in the front, I was also getting asked many questions and giving some advice on shoes, and running in general. It felt so good to share my passion.
While for me, it wasn't too hard of workout, I was transported back to when I couldn't even do that 1/2 mile. When 1 minute left me gasping for air. When the mere idea of ever running 3.1 miles seemed like an impossible dream. I'm looking forward to seeing these women grow in their journey to 5K whether they walk it or run it!
Somewhere along the line, I became bona-fide crazy runner. Somewhere between that 10K, the 5 miler in the snowstorm, the New Years Day runs, and the half marathon, I became a resource on the last subject I ever expected to be a resource.
And now, in a new venture, I'm putting this vast container of knowledge to use! For the next few weeks, I will be serving as a mentor 1x a week. This week I got to lead the newbies on the first day of the couch to 5K program. It was so amazing to see this diverse group get out and run. It was empowering to see women who had no intention of even running the 1 minute intervals in the program actually run those intervals. I was thrilled when I asked who wanted 1 more minute round and everyone was up for it! As we ended that last run interval, I asked, "who feels like they just did a 21 minute workout?" They were truly shocked how those little intervals added up.
Not only was I the time keeper, perky carrot in the front, I was also getting asked many questions and giving some advice on shoes, and running in general. It felt so good to share my passion.
While for me, it wasn't too hard of workout, I was transported back to when I couldn't even do that 1/2 mile. When 1 minute left me gasping for air. When the mere idea of ever running 3.1 miles seemed like an impossible dream. I'm looking forward to seeing these women grow in their journey to 5K whether they walk it or run it!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Heavy
Still lost. Only now I'm carrying even more heaviness. Knowing my dear husband's unemployment was running out was a time bomb in the back of my head. Now that day is here. Commence panic. Gut knotting, make me want to curl up in a ball and block out the world panic. As much as I tried to prepare myself mentally for this day, deep down I believed things would work out. I can feel that sense of ease I was starting to feel, that sense that I was finally going to catch up and turn things around eroding.
Commence every mixed over-analyzing emotion I can feel. Commence anger. Commence resentment.
Things just got real heavy around here.
Monday, March 12, 2012
lost
I just feel lost.
Things need to change but I'm at a loss as to how to make that change.
When I try to search, I get more defeated and all of the usual excuses boil to the surface. Excuses tinged with bitterness and feelings of defeat and failure. When those closest to me try to help and give me ideas, I get defensive and more frustrated. And then multiply that by 2 because not only do I have to try to rationalize and figure out my own situation I have to do this about my dear husband too. We're both lost. We saw our incomes fall by over 50% each in 6 months time and have been "living" on that for 2 years now. I see things I'm possibly qualified for yet after
That's no small adjustment. Thats dreams deferred. That's 2 years of me trying to be a cheerleader only for things to not change for the the better economically. It's 2 years of treading water knowing that one unexpected large bill will set me back for 6 months and as soon as I dig out another one will pop up. It's 2 years of watching those around me go through their own struggles and emerge from them asking myself, "when is it our turn?"
It's a cycle of saying "i'm sick of deferring life and then facing the financial repercussions for months on end. It's days of feeling fine followed by days of not. Days of contentment about what I'm doing because I know despite odds I'm making it work, then a crash or financial stress.
I'm not kidding when I say the only time I feel successful is after a good run.
So here I am... lost. I'm sure this feeling will pass quickly and I'll be back to myself... whoever that is now-a-days
Things need to change but I'm at a loss as to how to make that change.
When I try to search, I get more defeated and all of the usual excuses boil to the surface. Excuses tinged with bitterness and feelings of defeat and failure. When those closest to me try to help and give me ideas, I get defensive and more frustrated. And then multiply that by 2 because not only do I have to try to rationalize and figure out my own situation I have to do this about my dear husband too. We're both lost. We saw our incomes fall by over 50% each in 6 months time and have been "living" on that for 2 years now. I see things I'm possibly qualified for yet after
That's no small adjustment. Thats dreams deferred. That's 2 years of me trying to be a cheerleader only for things to not change for the the better economically. It's 2 years of treading water knowing that one unexpected large bill will set me back for 6 months and as soon as I dig out another one will pop up. It's 2 years of watching those around me go through their own struggles and emerge from them asking myself, "when is it our turn?"
It's a cycle of saying "i'm sick of deferring life and then facing the financial repercussions for months on end. It's days of feeling fine followed by days of not. Days of contentment about what I'm doing because I know despite odds I'm making it work, then a crash or financial stress.
I'm not kidding when I say the only time I feel successful is after a good run.
So here I am... lost. I'm sure this feeling will pass quickly and I'll be back to myself... whoever that is now-a-days
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A quick meditation on running
As I was driving home tonight from work, this thought popped in my head :
"When I run, I'm a different person. During a run, I feel powerful and controlled where in life I feel powerless and out of control. I feel a success after every run that is normally absent. The only real failure with running, is not doing it."
"When I run, I'm a different person. During a run, I feel powerful and controlled where in life I feel powerless and out of control. I feel a success after every run that is normally absent. The only real failure with running, is not doing it."
Training plan
3 races coming up
A 4 miler in 2 weeks
A 7 miler the week after
A 10 miler on May 27th
and an unofficial half marathon in June (still need to set the date depending on work schedule).
Before, I probably would have searched the internet for a runner designed training plan and probably settled on one of Hal Higgdon's plans, especially a beginner one. His training programs depend on 6 days a week of activity and while they work really well in the beginning for me, I quickly develop training fatigue and start to burn out somewhere around week 4. Work-outs get skipped, I feel bad, thus killing my motivation, I fall further behind. I'm left on race day happy with my results and wondering if I could have done better. This time will be different. I've followed plans and read enough that I'm designing my own plan. It'll be 5 workouts a week with 2-3 rest days. Some weeks will require 3 rest days depending on just how my work schedule plays out. This training will occur while I'm working 2 jobs (48-53 hrs/week total), actively volunteering with my women's group and trying to maintain some sort of household. I discovered last year that the other problem with the 6 day a week training plan was the inability to accommodate it into an already full schedule.
Its not a fleshed out plan yet in that I have days assigned but an ideal week will have 2 normal run days (starting at 3 miles and working their way up to 4-5milers with one day dedicated to speed intervals), 1 biking day, 1 long run day (starting at 3.5 miles and increasing by 1 mile each week). 1 day will be a toss up -- strength and flexibility focus if low energy, another run or bike session if motivated and nice out.
Most of the plans I've followed have involved dedicating 1 day to strength and flexibility. My twist is to incorporate my yoga practice 2-5 times a week whether that be through official 1 hour sessions at the studio or 20 minute at home videos to just getting up from watching tv and practicing my poses.
template for this week:
Monday: Day 1 wound up being a rest day. -- unofficial stretching session
Tuesday: 3.1 mile speed workout
Wednesday: toss up exercise: yoga video
Thursday: 3 mile run
Friday: rest
Saturday: long run 3.5 miles
Sunday: yoga? -- strength training -- bike? undecided.or even another rest day.
A 4 miler in 2 weeks
A 7 miler the week after
A 10 miler on May 27th
and an unofficial half marathon in June (still need to set the date depending on work schedule).
Before, I probably would have searched the internet for a runner designed training plan and probably settled on one of Hal Higgdon's plans, especially a beginner one. His training programs depend on 6 days a week of activity and while they work really well in the beginning for me, I quickly develop training fatigue and start to burn out somewhere around week 4. Work-outs get skipped, I feel bad, thus killing my motivation, I fall further behind. I'm left on race day happy with my results and wondering if I could have done better. This time will be different. I've followed plans and read enough that I'm designing my own plan. It'll be 5 workouts a week with 2-3 rest days. Some weeks will require 3 rest days depending on just how my work schedule plays out. This training will occur while I'm working 2 jobs (48-53 hrs/week total), actively volunteering with my women's group and trying to maintain some sort of household. I discovered last year that the other problem with the 6 day a week training plan was the inability to accommodate it into an already full schedule.
Its not a fleshed out plan yet in that I have days assigned but an ideal week will have 2 normal run days (starting at 3 miles and working their way up to 4-5milers with one day dedicated to speed intervals), 1 biking day, 1 long run day (starting at 3.5 miles and increasing by 1 mile each week). 1 day will be a toss up -- strength and flexibility focus if low energy, another run or bike session if motivated and nice out.
Most of the plans I've followed have involved dedicating 1 day to strength and flexibility. My twist is to incorporate my yoga practice 2-5 times a week whether that be through official 1 hour sessions at the studio or 20 minute at home videos to just getting up from watching tv and practicing my poses.
template for this week:
Monday: Day 1 wound up being a rest day. -- unofficial stretching session
Tuesday: 3.1 mile speed workout
Wednesday: toss up exercise: yoga video
Thursday: 3 mile run
Friday: rest
Saturday: long run 3.5 miles
Sunday: yoga? -- strength training -- bike? undecided.or even another rest day.
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