letting go

Why can't I?

I sit here with a new job, happiness abounding yet I still hang onto those other two. I can't technically let go of them. Even when I haven't been at one in over a month, I have yet to write down the words, "I hereby turn in my resignation."

It's so final. These jobs  have gotten me through a tough time. A tough time of paycheck to paycheck not even being enough. They're like a security blanket for me. A security blanket that is going to smother me at the rate its going. Deep down, i'm a workaholic. I've spent 2 years scrambling and working as much as I can.   The mentality that I need to work as much as possible and not turn down income at the expense of my sanity is overrunning any thoughts of having just 1 job.

I make a decision, then find myself thinking, "well it'd just be a Monday morning shift.... or.... just a shift every few weeks and I keep my discount."

There's warm fuzzy memories. Leaving a job by choice hasn't been an experience for me since 2008. Then the job I left it for went an abandoned me a year later. Seriously. It's like I'm talking about a relationship!?!?

All good things must come to an end but my compromising nature wants everyone to be happy and place nice together. I've spent many thoughts on figuring out just how all three could co-exist.

Someone needs to beat me upside the head or give me an intervention.