For 2 weeks I will have effectively worked all three jobs at the same time.... Yeah, now I know why that idea was never meant to last! What a terrible terrible stupid idea!?!
I'm going to be working about a month straight with no days off. But this is the last week I'm juggling the bank and going to two jobs in the same day.
Anyway, not much else going on. It's been a rough past week at the lab with lots of test failures/issues but today I finally got reprieve and stuff worked!
other than work, seriously there hasn't been time for anything else!
Highlights:
* Auto Show! Sat in a $120,000 Audi and a $90,000 BMW M5. For the most part, vehicles I was inclined to like, I liked. Vehicles I was inclined to not be impressed with, I was't.
* I really am having fun being back at the coffeeshop. It's a fun outlet and once I figure out the balance, i'm looking forward to keeping it!
New Obsessions:
* Music: Justin Timberlake "Mirrors"; Tame Impala "Elephant"
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
TV show hangover
This has happened to me with books too. Where the show or book ends and you can't stop being in their universe. I'm obsessed. Need to find a new story so I can get my head out! I have at least 6 months before this tv show comes back on and I'm going to paint myself into a mental corner or wind up watching the whole series a few times over... GAH!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Where have I been?
For many I am omnipresent, it's like I never left. For most, I've fallen off the face of the earth. The drawback to 2nd shift is the socialization that could normally be spread throughout the week must be condensed.
Also I'll admit, I've been selfish. I've made the conscious decision to focus on myself and immersing myself completely into work. I'm actively working all three places right now, though that will be coming to a close after next week as I close the chapter on my life in the banking industry. Last week, I realized I was ready and the universe responded with a new employee filling my place as of March 11th.
I had my first shifts at the coffeeshop in 2 months and it was fun. While I accept every shift won't be fun and right now it's new and exciting again, I've been given the perspective change of being there because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to in order to stay afloat. Its a fun job and ultimately I want to make extra money while I can and of course keep my discount. It's not the dumbest reason to stay. It would only be dumb if I were miserable and I'm not. I have the power now to leave when it stops being good.
Right now, working so much is hard, but life is pretty damn good. I'm happy happy happy. I feel a light in my eyes that had been dimmed. I'm continuing to get better at my job and learn and able to pay my bills. This is one of those times in life where I'm bound and determined to enjoy the ride.
Also I'll admit, I've been selfish. I've made the conscious decision to focus on myself and immersing myself completely into work. I'm actively working all three places right now, though that will be coming to a close after next week as I close the chapter on my life in the banking industry. Last week, I realized I was ready and the universe responded with a new employee filling my place as of March 11th.
I had my first shifts at the coffeeshop in 2 months and it was fun. While I accept every shift won't be fun and right now it's new and exciting again, I've been given the perspective change of being there because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to in order to stay afloat. Its a fun job and ultimately I want to make extra money while I can and of course keep my discount. It's not the dumbest reason to stay. It would only be dumb if I were miserable and I'm not. I have the power now to leave when it stops being good.
Right now, working so much is hard, but life is pretty damn good. I'm happy happy happy. I feel a light in my eyes that had been dimmed. I'm continuing to get better at my job and learn and able to pay my bills. This is one of those times in life where I'm bound and determined to enjoy the ride.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
obsessions & other drabbles
in no particular order I'm fixated on:
Bruno Mars
"Glee" songs
"White Collar"
"House of Cards"
Running to explicit songs. I'm finding particular motivation in Rihanna, Eminem, BOB. For the most part, the more explicit/dirty, the better.
Trying scotch - can't explain it but I've suddenly found myself wanting to develop an appreciation for simple drinks.
I'm back to running. I'm finally tapering off my hours at the bank so my 12 hour days are coming to a close. I'm also adjusting to 2nd shift so I'm finding my motivation returning to pound the pavement. I have a 4 mile race March 23rd and a 7 miler on March 30th. Running every two weeks isn't going to cut it. It's my escape too and I've missed it. Missed the feeling that comes from pushing myself. I'm a glutton for punishment and running is a catharsis I need.
That's really all from my corner of the world. I'm happy. Life is good.
Bruno Mars
"Glee" songs
"White Collar"
"House of Cards"
Running to explicit songs. I'm finding particular motivation in Rihanna, Eminem, BOB. For the most part, the more explicit/dirty, the better.
Trying scotch - can't explain it but I've suddenly found myself wanting to develop an appreciation for simple drinks.
I'm back to running. I'm finally tapering off my hours at the bank so my 12 hour days are coming to a close. I'm also adjusting to 2nd shift so I'm finding my motivation returning to pound the pavement. I have a 4 mile race March 23rd and a 7 miler on March 30th. Running every two weeks isn't going to cut it. It's my escape too and I've missed it. Missed the feeling that comes from pushing myself. I'm a glutton for punishment and running is a catharsis I need.
That's really all from my corner of the world. I'm happy. Life is good.
Friday, February 15, 2013
letting go
Why can't I?
I sit here with a new job, happiness abounding yet I still hang onto those other two. I can't technically let go of them. Even when I haven't been at one in over a month, I have yet to write down the words, "I hereby turn in my resignation."
It's so final. These jobs have gotten me through a tough time. A tough time of paycheck to paycheck not even being enough. They're like a security blanket for me. A security blanket that is going to smother me at the rate its going. Deep down, i'm a workaholic. I've spent 2 years scrambling and working as much as I can. The mentality that I need to work as much as possible and not turn down income at the expense of my sanity is overrunning any thoughts of having just 1 job.
I make a decision, then find myself thinking, "well it'd just be a Monday morning shift.... or.... just a shift every few weeks and I keep my discount."
There's warm fuzzy memories. Leaving a job by choice hasn't been an experience for me since 2008. Then the job I left it for went an abandoned me a year later. Seriously. It's like I'm talking about a relationship!?!?
All good things must come to an end but my compromising nature wants everyone to be happy and place nice together. I've spent many thoughts on figuring out just how all three could co-exist.
Someone needs to beat me upside the head or give me an intervention.
I sit here with a new job, happiness abounding yet I still hang onto those other two. I can't technically let go of them. Even when I haven't been at one in over a month, I have yet to write down the words, "I hereby turn in my resignation."
It's so final. These jobs have gotten me through a tough time. A tough time of paycheck to paycheck not even being enough. They're like a security blanket for me. A security blanket that is going to smother me at the rate its going. Deep down, i'm a workaholic. I've spent 2 years scrambling and working as much as I can. The mentality that I need to work as much as possible and not turn down income at the expense of my sanity is overrunning any thoughts of having just 1 job.
I make a decision, then find myself thinking, "well it'd just be a Monday morning shift.... or.... just a shift every few weeks and I keep my discount."
There's warm fuzzy memories. Leaving a job by choice hasn't been an experience for me since 2008. Then the job I left it for went an abandoned me a year later. Seriously. It's like I'm talking about a relationship!?!?
All good things must come to an end but my compromising nature wants everyone to be happy and place nice together. I've spent many thoughts on figuring out just how all three could co-exist.
Someone needs to beat me upside the head or give me an intervention.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Content
I am content.
There are things going on but in the face of everything, I'm pleased with the direction my life is taking. I'm a perky scientist again and I feel I can close the door on 3.75 years of searching. 3.75 years of tumult in my soul has quieted. It's reminiscent of when I went skydiving. The past few years have been like freefall... chaotic, loud, unsettling, terrifying, exhilarating but it can't go on forever. Then the chute opened and all went quiet and I was left suspended in air staring out at the world around me. Floating, not falling. The chute has opened.
There are things going on but in the face of everything, I'm pleased with the direction my life is taking. I'm a perky scientist again and I feel I can close the door on 3.75 years of searching. 3.75 years of tumult in my soul has quieted. It's reminiscent of when I went skydiving. The past few years have been like freefall... chaotic, loud, unsettling, terrifying, exhilarating but it can't go on forever. Then the chute opened and all went quiet and I was left suspended in air staring out at the world around me. Floating, not falling. The chute has opened.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Surreal
After going through over a 3.5 yr hiatus from science, starting January 21st I get to be a scientist again!!!!
I still feel like its not really happening, but I put in my notice at the bank. I keep waiting for someone to pinch me, or half expecting them to call me back and say that its all a ruse.
I'll admit. I'm a bit scared/intimidated. On top of returning to an incredibly technical field, I'll be returning to 2nd shift work. Its also scary to admit that for the first time in 3 years, I may just only have to work 1 job!
I still feel like its not really happening, but I put in my notice at the bank. I keep waiting for someone to pinch me, or half expecting them to call me back and say that its all a ruse.
I'll admit. I'm a bit scared/intimidated. On top of returning to an incredibly technical field, I'll be returning to 2nd shift work. Its also scary to admit that for the first time in 3 years, I may just only have to work 1 job!
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