I am a lemming...

I joined twitter. I held out for so long and finally was bookmarking enough people's twitter accounts I decided I needed to just give in. My twitter account is @runningbride2b.

New Template

So apparently my blog design was in need of updating. I would either have to get the new code for the same design or use it as a chance to give things a fresh look. I just spent the last 1/2 hour giving it a new look. I played around with many designs but not many were speaking to me. I finally found this one and I think I'll stick with it for a bit. I'm not loving the fact it says "Happy New Year" down the side, but I like everything else about it and I'm really sick of looking.....

Enjoy the new design!

Almost 8 miles logged in 2 days!

Whoa. Never thought I'd be able to say that. Also never thought I'd be the person people look up to in regards to running/fitness level. So weird.

I went running with friends at 6am for 3.2 miles and I kicked that 3.2 mile's butt! except for one last hill, that one kinda kicked me, but otherwise I rocked it!

And from out of left field.....

I went running today in an attempt to return to my training schedule. The feelings of apathy as previously mentioned had been finding their way into my training and I just could muster up enough ambition to do any more than a run 3x a week. I even managed to completely skip out on a long run day!  Not gonna cut the mustard because these runs have been really hard. I can definitely tell a difference between the weeks I was doing the program stuff and the weeks I haven't.

But today was different. I decided to hit Staring Lake Trail. I usually avoid this one for a few reasons:

1. It's long. 2.3 miles long. 
2. It's very solitary and despite EP being a fabulously safe and wonderful suburb, stuff happens. I always try to stick to neighborhood roads when running alone and almost never take the exact same path. One can never be too careful
3. This is the trail, that even after completing a 5K, I had never been able to make it all the way around. There's many small hills and it had built up to be so much more a mountain that ever in my mind. 

So with all that in mind, I set my sights on completing the trail loop once. It was definitely hard but I pulled through. The benefit of this trail is that is was pretty shady which proved to be very handy on a sunny warm day like today. I managed to finish it and by sheer obstinacy, kept going. I turned my focus from distance to time. Reminding myself: You've run 30 minutes already, you can do 20 more. And then I saw my car again. 4.6 miles done! You read that right. The furthest distance I've ever ran. I even managed to do it in 56 minutes, 39 seconds! Under 60 minutes! Whoa!

 

In good news land, I may have managed to lose 3 lbs. Doesn't seem like much. But a cliche involving the length of the Rome project (that whole not being built in a day thing) come to mind. Its easy to understand why this is a hard process. Its so easy to get discouraged by lack of progress and I think I have been feeling it because despite the compliments received on a shrinking physique, not seeing the results in the form of lbs bugs me. But now about 3 lbs is in fact gone. AND I think my butt might be getting a little perkier... I could be wrong though....

Training? What happened?

I was in training. Then one week I missed one workout, the next, 3. Then the worst thing happened, I missed my long run. *sigh.

Stupid apathy creeping in. So I've decided that instead of moving to the next week, I will be repeating last weeks exercises and then moving on. I will not let myself be deterred from this goal. I will run that 10K!

The funny part is that the motivation started slacking when people started saying they noticed a change in my shape. Most people this motivates them. Apparently, it de-motivates. me. huh? I love hearing it though so by no means do I want people to not pay attention...I just want things to go faster so I don't lose motivation! As does everyone else on a weight loss mission.

So what am I doing to remedy? That's the important part. Sitting here whining about the lack of motivation will do no good. Action Plans to be made!

Diet: Start tracking even though I'm not quite fully initiated into the system
Fitness: Get back out there cross training. This may involve buying padded bicycle shorts....

Apathy, you are not my friend

Phrase I'm sick of uttering:

"If my job situation changes in the next month... (fill in the blank)"

I see jobs I want to apply for but I'm just so damn sick of filling out applications, so sick of feeling like there are no jobs out there that I fit in. Feeling like a square peg in a round hold world.

*sigh

The apathy is spreading from job search to workout to housework. It's pervasive and like mold, hard to stop the spread of. I really wish I could just bleach everything and start over. I'd probably stand a better chance of getting a job than I do now..... I wish I could bleach my brain and rid it of the apathy, the blown self confidence, the defeat and utter hopelessness I feel some days, the bitterness and self doubt. I wish I could go back in time and shake myself. Tell me to go into something I'm good at and truly like, not something I think would be a good path, a proper path. Then again, in this economy I'd probably be in the same boat as I am now so that wouldn't do any good....

My Photography blitz

So over the past few months, I haven't been taking too many pictures because, well, face it: there's only so many pictures of the cats being stupid, the yummy things I bake and the flowers blooming, one person can take before you run out of ideas.

Roll ahead to Saturday: I participated in the 3rd Annual Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk day. This was my 2nd year doing it at the MN Landscape Arboretum. I have to say, I'm quite proud of how my photos turned out. Granted, next to some of the more seasoned photographers mine look mediocre. Some proved that I had the right eye, just not the equipment or editing capabilities to give it that extra pop.

Some of my favorites:

I only took about 1/2 the amount of pictures I took last year, but I think the quality of each image and composition was way better on the ones I did take. I used a more critical eye than last year. Also because I did the walk last year and got to see what other people focused on, I could work towards finding more creativity in my shots. I mean you can only see so many head on close ups of roses and lilies..... A favorite photo of mine that is absent from this is one I took of a dragonfly. It was a good photo on my end, but then I saw one of the ones from my group taken with a far superior camera and edited. Talk about blowing my photo out of the water!  So for right now I'm deciding between the dahlia and the squirrel for my final submission.....

From the arboretum, I headed onward to Harriet Island in St. Paul for the Red Bull Flugtag. 2.5 hours of watching human made flying machines crash off a 30' ledge? Count me in! Me and 90,000+ other people. I brought my camera along to that too. It was a bit hard in the beginning figuring out how to get the right shots but when I did, they turned out quite well, despite a few heads getting in the way. Selected photos from that event:

See, there were lot's of people.

Despite a pretty wicked sunburn right below my neck and being very tired, it was all worth it. I got to spend some much needed quality time with my camera. I've kinda missed having real things to take pictures of....

Crabby and annoyed

Mostly @ dear fiance. Really want to smack him upside the head about now. I actually wanted to a couple hours ago, and the feeling hasn't subsided much. There are days when our differences are just so blatantly obvious that I just can't understand him and his motives for life.

The big one I can't understand is the complete lack of motivation. I got a call offering him a day job installing an outlet for a dryer (hello! easy, under the table money here!) and he just gave me this look of, "why would I ever want to do that?". Then at dinner, I found out he gets to take his test to move up to journeyman (not that this really matters because he'll just go to being #900something on the list of laid off journeymen electricians), but it would have been nice if he would at least tell me things like this. Not have me randomly ask him a question and then act like I'm so out of touch on that because it happened ages ago and I was magically supposed to know this/intuit this. Icing on the cake: I innocently asked if he'd heard of any travel opportunities for electricians (when we were house hunting he was offered the chance to go to Vegas to work and then later he got offered North Dakota) and he snipped back that, "Nope. Not even travel to other people's houses". I have never wanted to throw something at him quite so badly as I did at that moment.

And if I even try to ask anything wedding related, he just clams up into his "I don't care-I don't have an opinion-but I really do have one I'm just not going to vocalize it" mode. I took him to potential new ceremony site and he wouldn't even make a single comment on if he liked things about it or not. I feel like I'm beating my fucking head against a brick wall. Actually, some days, that would be more pleasurable than dealing with this. I feel like I'm working my ass off trying to stay afloat and he's perfectly happy just being pulled behind me on his intertube.

All of  these issues come to a head every once and awhile. Today is that day for me because I had less than  4 hrs sleep, worked all day, had to stay 1.5 hrs late. I'm crabby and have limited bullshit tolerance and everything that's gone on today from the moment I got home has felt like a whole bunch of it.

I need to stop venting because it's only opening a seething wound right now and I'm getting a lot of mean thoughts rolling out. Which is completely counter productive.

Time to go for a bike ride.

So tired!

I got up this morning at 6 and went running with friends. WHOO HOO! We did about 3 miles and ran more this time than last week. I was hoping to ride that energy high and get a lot done today. But then I got home. The amount of tired I was became apparent as I sat down on the couch and woke up 3.5 hours later. DOH! Then I quickly got ready and went to a networking group at a local church and am finally home. Have I accomplished anything since then: nope. I'd really just like to take a nap.

The good news is the 3 miles I did today. I hope to do a shorter run with them tomorrow morning too.

It's weird how it's just 1 mile more, but the ability to run 4 miles seems to put you into a whole different level of runner. I even have began to think of myself as a runner, which is kind of a weird concept. My youth was spent being so sedentary, that to be able to just get out there and go for miles feels amazing. There used to be only a few days a year I felt were "running weather"-- not too hot, but sunny, breezy, low humidity. They also had to be coupled with me having the time and energy to get out there. Often I'd have the energy, but it would be the middle of the night or I'd be at work. Then of course I'd start running, realize how hard it was and give up. I've gotten a lot better at making myself get out there even during hot days (although there are still days I deem "too hot" for it), cloudy blah days. I quit letting excuses get in the way all of the time and that feels great. Now to take that no excuses attitude to other areas in my life.....

If at first you don't succeed....

I will have to admit, after yesterday, the doubts crept in. I really doubted that I could do this. For some people 1 mile is a daunting amount. That mental wall you can't get past and always end up bailing. I had begun to worry that 3.5 miles was my personal wall.

I can be a bit dramatic. Notice, it took one day of not meeting my goal after a whole week of missing workouts and eating less than stellar for this doubt to creep in. But today is a new day. I awoke with the sheer will to try again. Then I started running and felt awful! The doubts told me to bail at the end of my road (less than 1/10th a mile) and try another day. The logic in my head commanded me to keep going because if I didn't try, then I'd push it off til tomorrow, then the next day and the mental wall of 3.5 miles would only grow taller. Over the course of the run the voices saying stop kept screaming, but the voices saying keep going began to grow louder.

A 4 mile course had been mapped out, but the aforementioned doubts made me bail on that path and create a new one. Somehow, by sheer stubbornness, I managed to plow through it! I stopped at 50 min, 31 sec hoping that I had managed to make 4.0 miles. Well I got close: 3.95 miles to be exact! So take that 3.5 mile wall. Next wall: actually hitting 4.0 miles and moving on to 4.5 miles!

I've spent all this time building up 4.0 miles to be this insane distance that it's a pretty big wall to climb. Then again, last year, 3.0 miles was near impossible to fathom and we all see how that turned out. So here's to getting back on the proverbial horse and sticking to those "other" workouts (strength, stretching and cross training). They really do help whether or not I feel they do whilst I'm doing them...

Running FAIL: kind of....

Proof my expectations of myself are getting a lot higher: I "only" managed to run about 3.2 miles today. I mapped out a 4.0 mile course only to abbreviate it to 3.5. It's not as bad as I thought I was doing. My guess had me only going for a total of 3.0 miles (running only 2.5 of it). I had to walk twice which is probably why it feels like failing.

Granted, it's still 3.2 miles that I never could have run before. The 2 polish sausages and 2 cupcakes I ate today isn't exactly the meal of champions. Combine that with the heat/humidity and the uphill nature of the course I picked and it made for a pretty hard run.  Oh yeah and I worked 6:30-noon, had the Twins game 12:30-4.... those are my excuses and i'm sticking to 'em.

Ok... now to fix some dinner.

A bit of a down week

I went for a 6 mile bike ride yesterday, a 2.8 mile run on Wednesday and the giant 3.5 mile run on Monday. But I didn't do anything today, Thursday or Tuesday. :(

I'll just have to think of this as my off week and do a better job next week.

In good news, my fellow women of today-ers have noticed me slimming, or as they put it "shrinking". This means something is working and I just gotta not slack off.

Those cupcakes I posted on my other blog and on facebook will probably set me back a little! :)

The furthest I've ever gone... running

3.5 miles! Whoot! I even did it in 42 minutes, 23 seconds, which of course I broadcast on FB and sparkpeople. I'm using all of these venues to hold me accountable. Between that (the pride I feel being able to post) and the big calendar where I check off the workout for the day, I'm staying motivated. Though, I was supposed to do the 3.5 yesterday, but work happened and I had no motivation whatsoever.

In other news, the scale may not reflect it -- or I don't trust mine enough -- I am slimming. I tried on a dress and you can no longer see the outline of my belly button (or the pudge surrounding the belly button) in the fabric! And I visited my pretty pretty @ Beth's today and put it on and it was actually loose! So I know my 6 days a week of working out is having some effect! Now to completely get the diet under control and see what happens!

Cross Training, done!

I went outside and mowed the lawn. That took all of 15 low impact minutes. I almost chose to wimp out of my actual cross training for the day, but I just reminded myself that it's about getting used to being active for longer periods of time, not the speed or distance I cover. So I boarded my bike and headed out.

I wound up doing 5.5 miles in about 35 minutes. As usual it was a pretty challenging 5.5 miles with plenty of hills and moments I wanted to give up, but I did not bail. And now my legs feel like jello....

Time to get ready to head to Rochester for a couples wedding shower...

Measurements and today's workout

In order to put it out there and track any improvement, I took my measurements today:
Measurements

Weight: fluctuates around 148
Right under bust: 33
Waist: 33
Hips: 40
R. thigh: 24.5

Goals:
Weight: Ideal: 125, will settle for 132
Waist: 28-30
Hips: 38
R. thigh: 20-22

I don't know if the measurement goals are realistic or not, but I'm putting it out there anyway.

Today's run: 2.0 miles
Weather conditions:
temp: 80.6
humidity: 63% ... WAY better than it has been!

I finished my run for today. I got a text message in the middle of running so I lost my time, but I'm guessing it was somewhere between 22 and 25 minute run. Lot's of hills as usual. Drinking for 2 hours this afternoon probably didn't help the run, but I'd like to think I burned off those UV lemonades.... Leave me to my delusions on that one :)

Up now: strength training

Next workout:
Saturday: Cross training for 40 minutes. May do yoga and biking or just 40 minutes of tae bo. Not sure yet.

Wedding blues...

I realized today that unless a job happens by August, the chances of being able to save the money we need to pay for the whole deal are pretty slim. And if I don't have a real job by September, postponing is inevitable.

Ack. I need to stop sitting here watching Titanic and go running, take my mind off things.

Cross Training

So yesterday I was supposed to cross train. Instead, I rested, thus pushing cross training to today and strength training/2 mile run to friday. Todays adventure in cross training: yoga.

I have a love-hate relationship with yoga. I really want to love it and sometimes do. A time I loved it: when I lived in Rochester and would do the 5am yoga program Inhale on the Oxygen channel. I was good enough I could actually do the whole hour with only minor trouble by the end of about a month of doing it. But then I moved and no longer got the Oxygen channel. Since then, I've tried in vain to find yoga I enjoy. "Inhale" used motown and other not new age-y music. The host had some bad habits: like encouraging people to bounce sometimes during warrior pose to the music, but if you know better then you just ignored that advice. But overall I really liked that program. I miss it. :(

Today I attempted a podcast yoga program I found quite awhile ago and never really did: Yogamazing with Chaz. Each podcast has a different focus like "Yoga for weight loss" (the one I did today) and "Yoga for *insert sport here*. The program was about 20 minutes after Chaz did his greetings. It was a pretty fast paced program focused more on quick frequent repetition of the poses than "getting into a zone" or relaxation. Hopefully I didn't overdo it and create any problems. I tend to do that and then wind up with upper back spasms from simple "gentle non-sweat inducing workplace yoga"....

Now it's off to find a wedding shower gift for this weekend and maybe a quick 15 minute bike ride when I get home to round out my cross training. Ideally, I'll do 1 cross training day of yoga type moves and 1 day of biking or workout videos....

Stupid Yahoo...

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/American-Dream-Is-Elusive-for-nytimes-1858628195.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=5&asset=&ccode

Oh yahoo, you've done it again. Turned what could be an insightful article on the plight of people my age and unemployment into yet another article focusing on a self centered, entitled brat. (see this moron's plight)

This kid had a $40K a year job offer but because he viewed it a "dead end" job that he was above, he turned it down. Now he's whining because he can't get a job. He was shortsighted. So now the "poor" thing has to live with his brother for free while his parents pay for everything. Must be rough to be in a position to turn down a decent paying job all because you feel above it... that for some reason a college degree entitles you to a cushy management position making 75K or more just because your brother makes that....,.. The entitled brat doesn't even have student loans or any other real expenses to worry about. *rolls eyes* No wonder my generation is getting a bad rap. No wonder people think its my fault I'm still under employed.

So humid...

I thought after the storms/rain went through it might cool down. I was wrong.

After sleeping in on my last day off til 11am, I laid around all day until the rain ended and finally peeled myself from my couch divot to go running. On tap for today, 2.5 mile run.

Weather conditions:
Temp: 76.5
Humidity: 92%
Dew Point: 74.

STICKY STICKY STICKY.

At least I'm not on the East Coast where it's like 100 degrees plus. But it still made for a pretty warm run. What I'm finding is the first 1/2 mile up to the first 8 minutes is pretty tough and I want to quit. Then I find a zone and it's smooth sailing until about the last 1/2 mile. Today was no exception despite the heat.

On tap for tomorrow:
      Strength and Stretching
               I will be following a strength routine on sparkpeople.com

Diet:
I think I may give the weight watchers point system a try because it's more fluid than an actual eating plan which doesn't allow for eating out . My friend is a member and actually as a gift gave me the little start up kit. She still said that I should consider joining for real when I can afford to do so (which I very well might), but she'll teach me how to use the system and get going. I did a little research on my own and am already practicing using the guides and mentally keeping track of my intake.

3.0 mile run... or close enough

Today's conditions:
      74.6 degrees
      cloudy
      HUMID. -- 92%! (Blech)

Workout for the day: Long Run: 3.0 Miles
Time: 33 minutes 25 seconds running, 4 minutes warm up/cool down walking

I remapped the route on a different tracker, my one on sparkpeople.com and came up 0.02 short! Doh. So in reality I did 2.98 miles. But I'm considering that close enough. I'm still in awe I made it through the whole thing because of the sheer amount of hills I had to conquer. Next time I will plan out my route on their site instead.

I also am surprised I'm running at a 11 minute mile pace. It just feels like i'm moving much slower than that. This is probably a good sign. :)

On tap for the rest of the day:

1. Ride the energy high to do some laundry putting away
2. Twins Game
3. Finish cleaning the house

Tomorrow's workout:

              2.5 mile run

After a day of rest....time to test out the new shoes!

So yesterday was supposed to be the day I ran 2 miles and strength trained. Well I worked at 5am and was too tired. So yesterday became the day of rest. Seeing as I have today off, I set my plans to get up early, beat the heat and do my 2.0 miles. I was pretty excited to do today's workout because I'd get to test out my new shoes! They're even Nike + ready which would be great .. if I had one. :)

Then I went out last night and didn't get home til late, watched TV with fiance on the couch til after 1am AND then went to bed. No surprise, I did not get up at 7 to go running. I slept til 11:15am! Whoops. The old me would have used the excuse that it's too hot to run outside, but the new me made myself get out there.

A word to the wise, don't eat a slice of pizza before you run. Yes, I needed food but that combined with the heat just made me feel like my body was made of lead. I struggled to do the 1.5 miles I wound up doing today. 1.5/2 isn't bad. It's not good and doesn't necessarily bode well for Sunday when I have to do 3 miles.... but I'll just look at it as an off day. Hopefully I can get out when it's not over 80 degrees and get it done.

One observation from today: I took my phone with me for timing sake and discovered that I may be running faster than I realize. Today I thought I was maybe pushing a 13 minute mile but was in reality doing an 11 minute mile! That actually makes me feel pretty awesome because that's about what I ran my first 5k at.

For this long weekend:
Next workout-- 40 minutes cross training. I may head out on the bike again, but I'm actually leaning more toward a good yoga session.
Sunday is long run day: This day will be 3 miles.

I've also got a full calendar of activities for Saturday. I think my 4 day weekend is going to fly by. :(