You mean I'm not invincible?

I am not invincible. I think every runner has that humbling moment at some point. Some of us have them over and over. It doesn't stop you from keeping on going and trying, but it serves as a reminder.

Just because you ran 6.2 miles on a warm morning doesn't mean you can repeat that at 11a.m. in full sun/limited shade and 85 degrees.

Today was that reminder for me and for one of the first times it was too much for me. I pushed myself too hard and if I hadn't stopped, I probably would have a massive case of heat exhaustion about now. The run was going great til just after 1.5 miles. I should have turned around and I may have keep going better, but no. I'm tougher than that, turning around would be failure so I pushed on for another half mile. Then i realized my mistake. I was overheating. I turned around and started on my way home. Wound up walking more than half of that distance home and even stopping under a tree for a sit for about 5 minutes.

I completed this 4 mile run, but have definitely learned the importance of going early in the morning during the summer. Next time, I won't be so damn stubborn. If I don't get out there, I won't try to make it happen.

Why does this feel like starting over?

I "officially" entered training for that whole half marathon thing about a week and a half ago. My first week was more of a free form attempt to ramp up my active days. My 2nd week was about trying to follow the program I picked out.

Successes this week:

1. Tracking my food - I've returned to the diligence of watching my diet and am back to where I was in the beginning of winter: 130.2 lbs.
2. Exercised 5/6 days so far including biking, running, intervals.
3. bought new swimsuits - 2 BIKINIS!
4. I signed up for a 10K in 3 weeks

Failures: -- luckily few, but warning: I may swear here

1. F*ck this is hard! 2.5 - 3 miles is really hard! I want to die/walk within minutes of starting. 
2. Strength training: I totally half butted it. 

I miss 5 miles being normal. I want to beat myself over the head for feeling that its a failure, that its hard again to run 3 miles, but its frustrating! It's like starting over and it sucks. 

But yes, in the grand scheme of things, this is going to be hard. 13.1 miles is not supposed to be easy or everyone would do it. So I'm going to stop whining now. I have 3.5 hours of free time before I need to get ready for work. Time for yard work!

Go Commando

If you've never had the pleasure of participating in an adventure race or have never heard of one, I'd highly recommend the experience. 

I just happened upon the Go Commando 5K adventure race put on by Team Ortho during my registration for the Polar Dash 5K (Jan 1, 2011) also sponsored by them. Amber and I tossed it around for a mere second before declaring our intent to do it. 

What goes into an adventure race? Is it Go Commando because you're running around with no underwear? No, my friends the Go Commando is in reference to a boot camp style race. It's one of several popping up including the Warrior Dash in Hastings and the Rugged Maniac. These races don't focus on distance, but on cross functional fitness. They take your typical 5K and turn it on its side by the addition of rough, changing terrain and obstacles! 

There's hills, mud, water, climbing, balance, even jumping over fire! For an avid runner this proved to be an empowering and yet humbling experience. I love hills and there was one that proved to be just too much for me. I felt my quads burning and I was barely over half way so the executive decision to stop was made. The best part of this was that time was not even an issue. My team faced it as that. While the first 1/2 was mostly small batches of us, the last 1/3 we stopped, waited for the rest of the team to catch up and finished together.

Not a single one of us left the race feeling bad about our performance. We left exhilarated and empowered. When I was a kid, I never could have envisioned bounding between hay bales. I couldn't do it as a 12 year old. Yet, I did it with no hesitation on Saturday. 

I'm left feeling that I can conquer the world...

That said, though, next time I will train more. I would like to get to a point I don't walk up that big hill or have to merely step over the hurdles. 

I look forward to continuing to push myself in new directions and travelling that journey with wonderful friends!

Cross training and all those other exercises....

I am a one trick pony. I can run. Last year when I started training for the 10K, I attempted to work in strength training and cross training and did so successfully... for about a month.

Then I began running even more and those other exercises.... well they fell by the wayside.

But I was running fine so I didn't care that those other exercises went away. Then I started attempting some yoga this spring and realized just how tight my quad muscles were. I went to a bootcamp thing and figured out just how 1 sided I was. I could go out and run 7 miles, but couldn't do a crabwalk and barely could throw a tire..... So maybe that illusion of being in shape is just that ... an illusion.

As I look towards a half marathon distance, I'm accepting that merely running will not be enough. 13.1 miles. 2-2.5 hours of torture will be precisely that if I don't get my act together. Also bringing to light the importance of those other exercises: both of my running buddies have suffered some serious setbacks in the injury department. We're all realizing we need to do more than just lay on the couch and decided to get up and run a few miles....

Long story short, I'm back on the cross training bandwagon and working on the strength training one. Tonight, I biked over to a park and met a friend for some rollerblading and sandwiches. Then I biked home. It felt so good to work some different muscles and trying new exercises breaks up some of the monotony that happens when you're just focusing on one exercise...

Here's to trying new things! Tomorrow its the Go Commando 5K adventure race. 3.1 miles with 13 obstacles. This could be interesting.....

From running bride to be to running newlywed...

I've been MIA from the blogosphere for a while. I've even fallen off the bandwagon on running! *insert shocked face here. What usually served as stress relief and salvation for me, had become a burden. My body was not feeling anything related to running. My energy reserves were nearly non-existent. The weather.... well lets just say Minnesota's mother nature is a cruel cruel mistress. Just when we were lauding the metling of the snow, she threw more at us, including flurries on May 2nd. When snow wasn't flying through the air it was wind and chilly rain. I had made it all winter running and found my motivation wain in spring. I also saw my wedding day inching closer and closer. Doing one thing a month would no longer suffice. In fact, I had to start juggling multiple aspects of planning at the same time. My free time, GONE. 

Overworking + planning = no time for running.

So I stopped. And the longer I stopped, the harder it was to get out there. My potential energy was depleted. Even my motivator/running buddy Amber was on a forced break from running so any accountability went out the window. Any time I could have run, I convinced myself that wedding plans were more important. They of course were.  The end result was worth the hiatus. The wedding was everything I imagined it would be... and more.

I felt great in my dress. I felt truly like a movie star princess bride that day.  Mother nature blessed us with 80 degrees and sunny, the garden was gorgeous and in the end I got to declare my love and commitment to the love of my life in front of many family and friends. The pricetag matters less and less to me as now I'm ready to move on, pay my bills and figure out our life. :)

Some people let a hiatus like that completely derail them. I am bound and determined not to let that happen. I enjoy running too much. I enjoy the endorphin push, setting a goal and achieving it, the commiseration of running that hard long run with a friend, or just the voices in my head.

Just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm giving up on this part of me. I will do that half marathon. I will stay healthy. And when all else fails.... I will run.

Did you quit running or something?

No. Of course not!

I had, though, taken a 2 week hiatus from it. I will say, mother nature has not been kind to us this April. It's been very grey, cold, windy and snowy/drizzly. I found that hardcore attitude that kept me running all winter crumble a bit by the repeated snowfalls and all around yucky days that plagued us the past couple weeks.

So, I did what should be done: I rested. I admitted to myself that for the first time in a long time, I was not feeling the whole running thing. Took the signal from my body that it was just a bit tired and actually listened to it instead of pushing it onward. Listening to your body when it tells you something is not right for you at the moment is a hard skill to develop. It is, of course, not to be confused with feelings of laziness which can creep in and turn what started as listening to your body into full out abandonment of exercise in general. So as a rule, if the hiatus is longer than 1 week, you're drifting into abandonment territory.

I didn't completely abandon exercise. Instead, I got my yoga on. I was able to do it 3 times last week and 2x this week. Just 20 minutes of it and I can tell that my body was tight and my lack of stretching before and after running is NOT doing me any favors. Having such tight quads does help me realize how strong my legs are in fact getting. They may not be shrinking to give me those gracefull runner legs, but they are powerhouses for sure. I think that's just what they're meant to be: strong, big and powerful. I can deal with that. In fact, I'm rather proud of just how much muscle is already there.

Ok, I bunny trailed it off into a tangent, didn't I???? Sorry for the complete descent into basking in my own awesomeness.... ha ha. I broke the running hiatus today. WHOO HOO! The sun finally made its return to Minnesota along with a gorgeous 60 degree, light breeze quintessential spring day. I only worked 5 hrs, too, so I knew this run was meant to happen. It had to happen. I've been struggling to turn that itch into actual running so before I could talk myself out of it, I put on the running clothes and set out on my way, unsure of what direction or even how far I wanted to go. My plan: to run until I felt done. Today that turned out to be 4.7 miles.... ok... well about 4.2 miles. At about 4.2 my legs said "F-U for not running in 2 weeks and then trying to make us go 5 miles. We're done!" So I did walking jaunts over the last 1/2 mile.

It was so wonderful to get back out there! I've missed the conversations I have with myself. The feel of the breeze grazing across my slightly sweaty skin. The sun warming and bouncing off my skin. The mysterious phantom aches that try to make me stop and then pushing through them. Running along with any other endurance sport is a complete mental game as well as a physical one. I can't imagine how I would have dealt with the tumult of the past couple years without the lessons running teaches me. I am stronger both physically and mentally as a result. And truly grateful.

I ran 7 miles

HOLY CRAP! I can't believe that just happened. We did a little walking after some pretty tough hills but the walking maybe added up to 5 minutes.

I honestly didn't think I had that in me. I hadn't been training for it. I hadn't run more than 4.3 since the 5 miler I did back in November. Due to lack of distance runs, I set some pretty low expectations -- 85 minutes which works out to be around a 12 minute mile. Normally I run at a 10-11 minute mile pace so I was definitely giving myself a large walking cushion.

All those hadn't-s and shouldn't-s were taking a tole on my psyche. Then that stupid snowfall and dip in temperatures this week were just insult to injury. So many things were stacking up to make this a potentially brutal run. Amber was also starting to feel ill so I knew that I stood a huge chance of not even attempting it this weekend.

Then this morning happened. Amber made it out to run, the sun was shining -- it was cold, but sunshine makes ALL the difference-- and the race was later in the morning so despite my midnight bed time, I managed to get plenty of sleep. We set off at a good pace. This is a serious running crowd so out of the gate we were at our aggressive 10 min mile pace which worried me. We chatted about times to walk and decided to assess at 20 and 25 minutes how we felt.

Around  25 minutes at the top of the hill we walked. I was feeling so good, I had to be told to walk. My obstinateness is both my friend and my enemy. I know for sure if I hadn't thrown in those walking jaunts I would have completely burned out, but when something is feeling good, I don't like stopping. My other rule: I do not stop in the middle of a hill. You know I'm in real trouble if I stop during a hill.

At about 5 miles, I started feeling the fact that I hadn't been in the routine of running over 4 miles. Theres a reason you're typically not supposed to increase your mileage each week by more than 10% when training for half marathons and marathons and I felt that.

We hit 6 miles and Amber and her friend Scott decided it was time to kick it into gear and catch the guy way ahead of us. I picked it up too despite not feeling ready to do so. We spent that last mile in near sprint mode and passed that guy way ahead of us. He later sprinted way in front of us, but for that brief moment, we were in the lead of him. It was on like donkey kong for Amber and I then. We really wanted to finish together though so we stayed evenly matched. My fellow carrot and I finished simultaneously at 73 minutes and some seconds... I'm not sure how many as I was focused on not collapsing.

85 minutes??? I really thought it was going to take that long???? Maybe if I had been running by myself. I should have known better! We totally beat that by almost 12 minutes! Unlike the Get Lucky, I had nothing left in me for more running. I knew I had pushed myself well.

Surprising moment though happened in the post race room.... I recovered really quickly. I did some stretching but for the most part that post run energy and endorphin high is still AMAZING! The sense of accomplishment along with the chemical effects in the body spur me on. I am leaving this race knowing that I can and will do that half marathon. Thank you Amber, Mike and Scott for keeping me running. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am.

And now I think its time to go soak in the bathtub.

A Milestone

Tomorrow I will run 7 miles.

What a powerful sentence, huh? Yes, I'm basking in my own awesomeness here for a moment.

*AHHHH

I don't even care if I run the whole thing or if I have to walk in the center. I'm stubborn enough that I don't anticipate walking, but I haven't actually run 7 miles.... EVER. This is truly a test to see if I have what it takes to make that leap onward to 13.1.

Get Lucky 7K, a recap

After that 10 day break from running, I knew I had to kick it up a bit or I wouldn't make it running across the finish line at the get lucky. So that's exactly what I did. I made it outside for a run 3 times between Thursday 3/10 and race day, including 2 back to back 3.3 mile runs. I concluded my prep with a Thursday 3/17 early morning run. We did about 3.3 miles again. I hadn't run over 4, so I was still nervous about the race. 

Saturday morning, my friend came over and we left on our way to Minneapolis. I engaged in what is becoming my race day tradition: oatmeal and coffee from Caribou. We reached downtown with over an hour to spare. The air was extremely crisp.... 26 degrees outside. 

Races in the spring, as with the fall, are difficult to dress for. The really cool mornings quickly burn off and before you know it the sun rises higher in the sky and the clothes that kept you comfortable at 26 have you yearning to drop your clothes off alongside the road just an hour later. March 19th was no exception to that. I had been forewarned and knew that as comfy as my super awesome Get Lucky sweatshirt was, I would not be needing it on the run, so I bundled it in my checked gear and thought warm thoughts as I stood there in my underlayer, t-shirt, shorts and purple tights waiting anxiously for the race to start. 

We moved ourselves over to the middle of the 10min mile pace crowd and I felt like a caged animal. My body was just ready to run, to loosen up the crowd and find my stride. The sun was shining, the energy of 5100 of my fellow runners was in the air!

Finally the race started. I have to admit, I've never run a race that big and I found it difficult to figure out my pace. Running felt... dare I say... easy?!? More so than it had felt in a long time.Too easy that I wondered about if I'd fade out, not have enough steam to make it past 2 miles.  About 1.5-2 miles (I think) we came across a long slow incline and I was getting warm. My friend decided to hang back so I took off up the hill on my own, continuing to get warmer. Amongst my fellow running friends, its our race day rule that if one person needs to stop and the other feels fine, its ok  to split up. After all, each of us is paying to be there and owe it to ourselves to give it all we got. 


 I had already stashed my gloves and found myself wondering how to best go about shedding my underlayer. Should I just say "screw it" and take off both shirts then put one back on? I'm not in great shape, but maybe for a moment I could get away with it??? I decided against subjecting anyone to the blinding glare of sunlight reflecting off my white flabby belly I believe, blinding your fellow runners and causing a domino effect of an accident is looked upon as poor racing ettiquette.... . Instead I opted, successfully -- now this took talent-- to take my underlayer off while still leaving on my t-shirt (not a very baggy one either) all whilst running up this cobblestone-esque hill. I was stuck hanging onto my underlayer then for the whole run, but I was happy for the freedom of just a t-shirt. 

3K came and passed quickly and I still felt good. I was passing quite a few people. We turned and I saw the hill as we went over a bridge. Its a good thing I love hills and I felt my posture change as I pushed myself up it. Next up the 6K marker. Still feeling strong. I talked to a couple guys for a bit about how good that free beer was going to taste. I could hear the finish line crowd and I started picking up the pace. Enough to cross somewhere between a sprint and run. Then something weird: I kind of wanted to keep going. 

Running has become addictive to me because I love the post run high. Especially after a race. This one was no exception. I felt like I could just keep running. This indicates to me that I probably could have run faster. I've missed running 4+ miles. Missed it more than I realize and this exhilarates me for future races and the half marathon I will do this year. I went to work today with the "post race swagger". That little extra confidence of finishing the race, beating my goal and feeling great in the process. 

oh yeah... my time! It wound up being 44:41! My goal had been 46:15. All in all, I'm pretty happy with this race. Team Ortho is well organized and they make the races worth the high entry fees. I'll carry that swagger with me all week! 

Polar Dash 1-1-11 Race recap; looking back and ahead too!

I can't believe I did it! The air temp was a chilly 7 degrees with windchills supposedly around 10 below. While most people were hibernating, Mike, Amber and I jumped in my car and trekked over to Eastern Minneapolis/Western St. Paul to partake in a crazy New Years tradition for a crowd of 2000+ people, the Team Ortho Foundation Polar Dash 5K. 

Winter running has been a bit of a challenge trying to figure out what to wear in order to tread that fine line between comfortable and overheating. Today it involved 2 layers of running pants topped with wind pants; smartwool socks; underlayer shirt, official polar dash fleece, jacket, neck gaitor, hat, hood and mittens. That's ALOT of stuff to wear! But I wasn't not willing to take chances with the windchills! 

We had about an hour til race start, so we hung out in the warming tent and I have to admit, we stayed pretty comfortable -- except for my feet. I lost feeling in my toes and it took til about a mile into the race for me to once again feel them. That was the hardest part. The rest of me was fine, but the toes were numb and quite painful. I found myself asking, "What would Bear Grylls do in this situation?" but decided he'd probably pee on them or something so moved my thoughts to other ideas like jumping in place, curling and un-curling them, etc.

Race time was about to start so we hurried out to the start area and aligned ourselves with the 10.5 minute mile pace. The excitement grew. The enthusiasm of the crowd was great. We were getting a lot of attention as we were still in our Happy New Years blinking hats and bound and determined to stay in them the whole race. 

The race went by much faster than I expected. Usually that first mile is pretty grueling. I was definitely happy when the feeling returned to my toes. Although for a brief moment the feeling had only returned to about half my toes which was quite surreal. My running buddy, Amber was definitely the pace setter this time and at many times I felt her pulling me. What a change from earlier this fall. Its inspiring to see how far she's come in this process! The only thing is I was completely out of juice to sprint that last 0.1 miles so I merely jogged my way in. I usually can muster up a sprint so that was a bit disappointing. But I still finished running and crossed the finish line at 35:20. I knew my official time had to be less than that as I was pretty far back in the crowd.

Official time: 31:23!!!!! This is a personal record for the distance. 

to review:

• Time to Fly 5K 2009: 35:36
• Autism 5K 2010: Not timed but it was somewhere around 40 minutes
• Time to Fly 5K 2010: 39 something?
• Autumn woods classic 10K: 69:58
• Diva Dash 5 miler: 53:14

I finished about 8-9 minutes FASTER than my first 5K's this year! 

I do accept, though, that this may be the fastest my body will go unless I step up the other parts of the equation: strength training, flexibility work, speed work. If I am in fact serious about doing a half marathon there is definitely more hard work ahead of me. I embrace it though because in the end it's all worth it! The post run high and accompanying sense of accomplishment can't be beat! I'm addicted. 

Picture from the Diva Dash

I stumbled upon pictures taken at the snowstorm Diva Dash on November 13th. Amber and I wound up in a picture,... sort of.

I'm the blue blob on the left, behind the crazy skinny girl running it in SHORTS! Amber is the person in pink that is half in the picture.

The Diva Dash, a smattering of other stuff

So last saturday, the Twin Cities experienced a snow storm. Most people used this as a reason to curl up on the couch with a good book. Me, I decided to get up way to early, drive over an hour, run 5 miles, stand around for an hour freezing my butt off and then drive home.

Crazy? pretty much.

The good news: I did the race in just over 53 minutes! Official time: 53:14! Pretty awesome and the fastest I've ever run 5 miles! I'd imagine the weather had something to do with it.

The bad: It was pretty miserable. All the snow and slush filled my shoes with water. The snow was blowing horizontally at times and I would have to pull my hat down over the side of the face getting plastered with the icy blast. My running buddy Amber had this wonderfully zen moment during the run, I had no such zen moments. It was an incredible mental challenge but at least I didn't cave to the voices telling me to walk or to quit!

The risks of signing up for a race in November. I will definitely be investing in some neoprene socks if this winter running will continue!

In other news, I finally put my insurance to good use and went to the dermatologist! Of course I was chided for not keeping up with my check ups but really, what can you do when you don't have insurance? Everything looked ok, I found out the area outside my scar that looked like pigment was actually just really clogged pores/blackheads that weren't going away. That was a huge relief! I did wind up getting another mole removed/biopsied. It was really close to the excision site of the melanoma mole that she wanted to be careful. So as of now, I have another hole in my chest but it'll only become a small scar as it didn't require stitches. It's just occasionally itchy and sore. A nuisance more than anything, but for piece of mind, worth it! I'll find out results in 1-2 weeks.

Current weight: 135.6!!! at least according to my home scale. It's said 133 a couple times but I think those were flukes having to do more with dehydration/ time of day than anything. But I'm still moving in the right direction!

Redemption is mine!

Wednesday was horrible for running. Everything felt so dang hard. I barely made it 15 minutes of running before we walked. WTH? This from the girl who just ran a 10K????  I was defeated that day. The diet had been suffering and I knew it was having an effect, as I posted earlier.

So Amber and I were supposed to run early this morning. A dreadful nights sleep, too much caffeine after 7pm (note to self: a small coffee, + 2 cups of tea, + coffee flavored ice cream will not yield a quality sleep!) meant that at 6:45 am I was really dreading that morning run. Needless to say, I wasn't terribly disappointed when Amber cancelled. I crawled back under my covers and snuggled up until 11am. I had promised her that it would be ok and that even if she wasn't going, I'd still run. So at 4:15, I still hadn't run and the chances of going were dwindling. The guilt was killing me. I rose from the couch and set out on my journey.

I don't know why but deep down I must think that because I ran a 10K that anything less than that shouldn't be hard, but it was! It was soooo much harder than I wanted it to be. I set my sights on 30 minutes and wound up quitting at 35 minutes. I huffed and puffed as I sat down at my computer to figure out distance, so sure that I maybe made it 2.9 miles.

Guess what??? It was 3.25! So that helps explain why it was so much harder than I expected. Generally when you go from usually running at a 12-13 minute mile to a 10 min mile on a standard run, its going to be hard! I recovered quickly though and now all I feel is good. So happy that I got out there and seized this beautiful fall day!

the 10k!!!!!

I have achieved my goal!

This unseasonably warm morning of October 9th, I ran my first 10k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was about 20 degrees warmer than I would have preferred but the sun was shining and Elm Creek Park reserve's display of fall foliage made for a gorgeous, albeit extremely hilly, run. Amber and I started out together, but around mile 2 a long slow incline separated us and we spent the remainder of the run on our own sojourn, fighting the hardest enemy of all: ourselves. 

When I said the course was hilly, I do not lie. It felt like the whole thing was a series of varying sizes of hills with very few downhill relief points. It was TOUGH!  Luckily for me, I live in a very hilly suburb so the majority of my runs involve hills. I also tend to run faster uphill because I just want to get it over with quickly and then "rest" on the downhills and straightaways. It was enough hills that by the last couple series of hills I was swearing to myself and wishing I could just stop, but knowing that I would feel worse if I did. So I kept pushing onward.

From Mile 2 to around mile 4 I ran with a fellow 1st 10k-er and it was going well. She had one of those sophisticated watches that told you distance and pace. I lost her at mile 4 though when she decided to walk through the water stop and I kept going. From there on I was back to being completely by myself. I think Mile 2 to 4 were actually the hardest because they felt like they were dragging to me. At Mile 5, a volunteer was giving each passing runner an update on time. I crossed mile 5 at 56 min 40 seconds! Wow! That really gave me an idea that I was going to make my goal of 72-75 minutes, little did I  know I was actually going to come in UNDER my goal. I hit the 6 mile marker and began my descent to the finish line and even managed to sprint across the finish line. And promptly wanted to throw up. That last push and all those hills really took a lot out of me.

Time I saw when I crossed: 70 min 30 sec!!!!

Later today I found out my actual time: 69 min, 58 seconds!!!! So I completely blew my goal out of the water and came in under 70 minutes!

Amber followed in a couple minutes behind at 72 min, 40 sec. 

I celebrated tonight with a few things

1) Totally took about a 1/2 hour nap this afternoon

2) No food tracking

3) because of no tracking, I essentially let myself have whatever I wanted because gosh darn it, I deserved it as a reward for achieving my goal

Oh yeah, Icing on the cake, I weighed in at 137.6! Down 11 pounds since July.

I feel amazing, proud, grateful and fired up for my next goal and to keep running. 

Who's ready for 10K???

I am! I am! 

OMG! 

My 2.5 month journey is coming to an end. The day is quickly approaching and is less than a week away!!  To be honest, I didn't really think I'd actually follow through with this. I figured I'd hit a wall at 4 miles and never make it that extra push to 6.2. 

I also didn't have any idea the intangible changes as well as the physical changes that would occur.

Physical Changes:

Weight lost: 10.0 pounds since July

Measurements:

    Just under bust: 30"   ------  -3.5"

    Waist: 32"  -----   -2.5"

    Hips: 38.5" ----- -2.0"

    Thighs: 23.5" (R), 23" (left) ---- -1.0"

Average pace: July: 13 minute mile

                     October: 10-12 minute miles

Intangibles:

 I just plain feel better about myself and carry myself with more confidence. Setting a goal and seeing those physical changes. Seeing my pace quicken. I can barely enunciate how I feel. 

I feel transformed, energized and once again grateful. 

    

Someone must have lit a fire under my bum this morning...

Because I ran and I ran the fastest I've run in a LONG time! I think I had some pent up energy just waiting to get out. We did 4.6 miles in 50 minutes. HOLY CRAP. The last time I did the double loop around that lake I did it in 56.5 minutes.

I'm totally riding the high off this run!

Pictured above: one of my photos from before our run

I can't help being in awe of so much this morning. My running buddy Amber has come so far in her running and in the 8 weeks we've been running together I've seen her go from being psyched to run 10 minutes to being able to keep up with me on a 4.6 mile run! I remember not so long ago I was in a similar boat and it's exciting when I see the changes both in myself and in her too!  When we run we discuss our milestones and it just motivates me so much to keep it up.

This morning, we were texting back and forth deciding whether or not to run. The reasons not to were stacking up:  less than 4 hours of sleep, drinking last night, the heavy amount of dancing I did last night.... We decided to just do it and be happy that we at least attempted. Little did either of us realize both of us were waiting for the other to call it off! HA!

I arrived slightly earlier than she did and had brought my camera along to grab some photos. It was one of those quintessential fall mornings, fog burning off the marshes as the sun rises higher in the sky, cool crisp air, clear skies. Crunching leaves below your feet. A couple more of my photos for your enjoyment:

I couldn't help but think to myself that I would have missed all of this if I hadn't gotten up, forced myself to put on my big girl pants and just do it! While waiting for Amber, I still didn't know how our run would go. We started on the 2.3 mile loop around the lake and it felt great. About 1/2 way around I realized we were running faster than normal and it still felt good.  A 2nd loop around gave us the 4.6 miles we were hoping to complete.

Even as I sit here, 3 hours post run typing this, I'm exhilarated and just thankful. Thankful for running. Thankful for finding people who share my excitement and desire to push ourselves. Thankful for great MN fall mornings... and just thankful in general.

Freak out subsiding and my new "happy place"

Wedding Freak outs and Vacation porn

So I've been freaking out pretty hard core on the wedding thing. Not the whole idea of the wedding, just the cost. I'm a worrier like that and I really just needed to talk it out with dear fiance. This is when I'm reminded of how good we are together and the balance we bring to one another. I can be high strung and a bit of a worry wart when it comes to all things money. I see final numbers and freak out. I use the anxiety of my job hunt failures to draw greater meaning (if this were meant to happen, I'd have a real job by now, etc).  Whereas he looks at the list of expenses and says, "what's the biggest check we'll have to write out and when will it have to be done? and What can we pay for little by little to ease the burden?" Just talking about those things really helped reign me back in. I really think this balance makes us a pretty healthy couple. Now we just need to work on our communication because it took me weeks to start vocalizing these concerns to him.

I still freak out a little at the expense of the wedding coupled with all the other things I want to do but I'm willing to get back into the planning...

 Before all the wedding talk, dear fiance looked up vacations thanks to an email from a cruise line promoting deals. I will hereby refer to these emails and the subsequent searching as vacation porn. You know you can't have it but you sit and research it anyway.  He found a 15 day cruise from Miami to Los Angeles (or vice versa, I can't remember) for $750/person! You even get to go through the Panama canal! How cool would that be?  But alas, I certainly don't have $1000 lying around to pay for my half and he'd be using all of his money he needs to live. :( So there will be no vacation. Because honestly, vacation, wedding, season tickets for the Twins AND house renovations just can't happen when you have me underemployed and him not employed. Amazing how that works, huh? It did get us looking at impossible (financially out of reach) trips.

I officially picked out my absolute dream trip: Cruise from CA to Hawaii, Tahiti and on to Australia. Then spend 3 weeks touring Australia and New Zealand then fly home. It would be about a 6 week trip (!) and would cost somewhere around $10K. Other dream trips: 1 month in India; Icebreaker cruise to Australia (about $25K/person!!!), hiking up Kilamanjaro and seeing Victoria Falls; a Galapagos Islands tour coupled with a trip to Peru to Machu Pichu. Now if only I a) had a job that paid me to do those things or b) was a millionaire.... Don't see either of those happening any time soon, so these remain what they are: dream trips.

Now about my new "happy place". Full of poetic language too!

It happened this morning. It was a beautiful, crisp morning (makes my thoughts turn to apples, fall color, warm sweaters, and bonfires... I LOVE FALL and can't wait til its here!) and I met a fellow runner bright and early @ 6:05am. We set out on our run which was a great combination of hills and flat. As we approached the 2 mile mark, we hit the Purgatory Creek Park recreation area and the sun was rising higher above the horizon. A beautiful mysterious fog blanketed the watery/marsh area. It was so quiet as we looped the trail, running felt great. My stride felt natural and non-jarring, my whole body felt in sync with itself, too. As we started our way back, the sun at our backs, we chased our shadows onward towards home. In the whole 4.25 mile run, we did 2 small walking stretches and a cool down walk for a total of about 0.5 miles walking. I think today was the best 3.75 miles of running has EVER felt.

The road to success is paved in pounds lost

Since starting this running thing in July, I have lost *drum roll please* approximately 5 lbs! It doesn't seem like much but it's a step in the right direction for sure. Since June, it's about 7 lbs.

I'll admit, about 2.5 weeks ago, I started losing steam. It got humid and I felt like I was over-training. I felt yucky more than I felt great. I'm hoping it was just a rut. I essentially took last week off except for a couple bike rides (3-6 miles) and 1 run last Thursday morning of about 2 miles. Tonight I got back on the proverbial horse and dragged myself out there. I'm so glad I did! I managed to get about 3.5 miles done which I've since bragged about on all my social networking stuff because that's what I do. :) I did it in 40.5 minutes. That's how long it took me to do the Children's Cancer 5K in June. So I managed to run almost a 1/2 mile more in the same amount of time.

I can feel that my legs are getting stronger. I can have the bike on a higher gear (4 or 5) for most of my ride! I'm going to be doing a 8.5 mile bike ride on Saturday night in Minneapolis which excites me.

People are noticing, too! A few weeks ago it came up when I was around my women's group.  My cousin (one of the few I hear from) told my mom that she felt I looked like I was losing a bunch of weight in my picture. She then asked if I'm starving myself, which I'm most definitely not! I hate that people often think that the only way a person loses weight is through starvation. They never credit it to working hard to exercise and eat right. Even if that person has been posting updates about all the exercise he/she partakes in, Nope, must still be starvation. *rolls eyes*

Oh well. I know I'm doing things right. I'm losing at a proper pace and building strength at the same time. The biggest challenge will be as fall arrives and turns to winter. Getting downstairs and on the treadmill will be a definite hurdle as I've never been all that keen on treadmills for running. But if I want to keep losing weight, I'm going to have to do something or it'll all just pile right back on....

Funny story...

Today at work, I was recalling a call from a recruiter for the army when I was in high school. I reminisced about telling the recruiter how I wasn't fit for the army because I:

1. DID NOT run
2. Had no desire to ever wake up at 5am.

She gave me this look of disbelief and I was snapped back into what is my new reality: that I do in fact run and I routinely have to be to work by 5am and I'm pretty darn perky, even on my bad days. How I've changed!

Its also my birthday in less than 11 days. I'll be 29. Not all that old, but thinking back to this conversation with the military recruiter and realizing it happened over 11 years ago. But even just 2 years ago, I'd never imagine running and craving it. 

I'd never imagine getting on my bike and biking 9.4 miles just because I felt like it. More on my biking adventures another time.

What changed in me?

Nothing major changed in me. There was no "ah-ha" moment of clarity, no death of a loved one forcing me to question my mortality, etc. It was just a combination of desire and opportunity/a friend to do it with me. I needed that extrinsic motivation to get up. As we started training, it was focused on intervals. Running 20 minutes wasn't as intimidating because it was being broken up into 1 minute chunks. It also served a great purpose in taking my mind off the loss of my job and the grief process I was going through associated with that. Then I did a 5K and promptly stopped running/exercises. But unlike previous work out attempts where I stopped and never looked back, all year into the winter I thought back longingly on the feel of running and craved to get back out there. 

So this year, I did two 5k's without training and as I previously posted about, I set my sites on more and as they say, the rest is history. I am a runner. Not necessarily a good one or a fast one but nonetheless a runner. Wanna find me? The open road and trails are my home. Just follow the size 5 foot prints.  :)

How's the running?

Running is going ok. I went for 2.4 miles this morning with a friend visiting from Rochester. She's definitely faster/better runner than me so I felt a little like I was holding her back, but we still had a good time. She really liked the trail I took her on.

Lack of cross training is still definitely hurting me so to encourage/motivate myself, I purchased a bike helmet (my first one since high school) and some padded bike shorts to help mitigate the pain from the bike seat on my seat. I figure if I'm going to do an 8.5 mile bike ride in 20 days, I better be ready and at least make some attempts to get out there and ride.....