Really? It's been a year?

In 6 days, I've been out of work for a year. I've neared the end of my first extension and now they're asking me to reapply for benefits.

Despite the shining sun outside, I'm being covered by a raincloud. Let's review the last year:

May 29th, 2009: last day of full time work, spirits high that a new adventure was right around the corner.
June-August 2009: Kind of enjoyed being off because I could be outside, go to the gym, Money was still ok as I was completely blind to the money I was hemorrhaging. I deluded myself that I was living the good life cheap, but was doing anything but.

October-November 2009:  I officially ran out of money. I was living with $30 in my personal bank account. I didn't think I'd be able to buy christmas gifts if things continued.

December 2009: A small light appeared when I got my part time job. It was scary to start over, but it was only temporary, right? Things were going to change soon because I couldn't possibly be out of work for a year, right? I have a bachelors degree and extensive job history. Someone has a use for me full time, right?

January -May 2010: I started taking some classes at the local community college to start trying to figure out what in the hell to do with my crumbled life. Over the course of that semester, I discovered the direction I was pursuing would only result in me being more overspecialized and in a field that it was still difficult to find jobs. So now I'm left wondering, what next?

Today: On the job hunt, I've retooled my resume several times, handcrafted it to fit every detail possible in a job description and STILL CAN'T GET A CALL BACK! Even for the jobs I was a near perfect match to begin with. I don't know what I else I can do short of tracking down the HR person and sleeping with them.

And now the icing on the cake is I have to reapply for benefits. I'm scared to do it. What if they penalize me for working part time and base my amount on my current income, not the one I lost in the first place? If they do that I'm fucked 100x over. I will have to cancel all wedding plans because I probably won't be able to pay for my mortgage. I don't know what to do anymore.

Welcome back giant knot in my stomach. How did things get so screwed up?