And above all tired.
That is the general state of my being. I thought a couple weeks away from working two jobs would re-energize me but its left me even less tolerant of the system I have to work in order to survive.
I'm happy to be married. Happy to be done with the wedding and at that next stage of my life. But the optimism is getting outweighed by the pressure for us to stop what feels like an endless loop of "maybe things will change by X date". That constant putting off of life and plans. The nearly monthly realization that I have to live for a week on $11 and while I have CC cards backing me up it's just digging the hole deeper.
I'm so tired and lost. lost and tired. I thought I'd try new jobs and gain direction/focus, but I've just entered a career holding pattern there too. Just kind of floating until something changes....
Its sucking the energy from me. I'm even losing the desire to run.
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