Heavy

Still lost. Only now I'm carrying even more heaviness. Knowing my dear husband's unemployment was running out was a time bomb in the back of my head. Now that day is here. Commence panic. Gut knotting, make me want to curl up in a ball and block out the world panic. As much as I tried to prepare myself mentally for this day, deep down I believed things would work out. I can feel that sense of ease I was starting to feel, that sense that I was finally going to catch up and turn things around eroding.

Commence every mixed over-analyzing emotion I can feel. Commence anger. Commence resentment.

Things just got real heavy around here.