slightly better today

Yesterday was a low point.

On top of finding out for sure that the job was not mine to be had, I reached the end of my most recent unemployment extension. Mondays are always moody too when I have to apply for my weekly benefit because I don't feel like I should still be in this situation.

Some good news
1) I'm pretty sure I'm being groomed for potentially rising through the ranks so I guess I'm not a complete screw up.
2) I've found 2 jobs I'm in process of applying for

sigh

Disappointment has worn into anger. I'm just so sick of trying to hold it all together. Put that positive spin on things. Sick of looking at position after position after position. Sick of putting the effort into resumes and applications that I never hear back from. I'm sick of the fact I've been at this for over a year and a half now and all I could land was part time work and have put in probably 150 applications/resumes. Tired of reading job description after job description and trying to muster up even 1/2 excitement about it....

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

And really sick of feeling like i'm one thing away from financial ruin and that my life has crapped the proverbial bed....

Well I was kind of expecting that...

I was not selected for the teller job.

At least they called me. That seems to be a luxury now which is sad. I definitely appreciated it. Although I will admit when I saw I had a missed call from them I kind had my hopes moving in a different direction....

I knew I'd probably lose out to someone with banking experience due to its lead teller status so I wasn't blindsided or anything. I think thats the only reason I lost out though. Kinda sucks, every article says don't hang on to your field try something new, but places are still won't really take you seriously if you don't have the experience in their field. So how in the hell am I supposed to start over? This is why I still only work part time in a coffee shop....

So, uh, now what?

So the 10K is done. Now what?

I was a little worried about soreness because of how fast I ran and the amount of hills, but today I was just fine. I actually am kind of chomping at the bit to get back out there! Yet another sign of true addiction!

10K race vs 5K race:
I really enjoyed the 10K. At first while Amber and I were waiting, I'll admit, I was intimidated. The true runners were gathering -- you know the beautiful ones who can run in tiny shorts and sports bras. The men with long lean graceful gazelle like legs..... In other words, the people who look nothing like me! I began to worry. 5K is a great distance and now it feels like a familiar "easy" distance but it was nice not to have to dodge the stroller runners and kids!

What is my plan for the future?
The weather will be changing and not surprisingly the amount of 10K's and longer distance runs diminish because honestly who wants to plan to spend over an hour running in the cold? And for event planners the weather becomes dicier .. But there are lots of 5K's and runs around 5 miles for me to do so I plan on staying active for sure! I'm hoping to keep working on speed and set a goal of a 32 minute 5K time.

Upcoming potential races:

1. End of October: Monster Dash 5K
2. Nov 13th: 5 mile run 
3. Thanksgiving: some kind of 5K or walk
4. New Years: Polar Dash (5K or 10K!!!)
5. Valentines Day 5K
6. Get Lucky 7K in March

Reviews of the training program I followed:

It was a pretty intense program involving 6 days of training a week. I was very gung-ho in the beginning and the discipline was good to get me going, but then inevitably life got in the way and I began to slack. But I was also burning out so I stepped back and began to run when I felt like it. Funny thing happened, I began to really enjoy it again! I still focused on going for 1 long run a week and getting out there 2-3 times a week total.

I did like that it focused on things like cross training and strength training.... Even if I totally half-ass'd the strength training.  tee hee.

Plan for the week: short to medium length runs coupled with some sprints.

It feels great that I accomplished my goal and I'm spurred onward and excited to keep running!

the 10k!!!!!

I have achieved my goal!

This unseasonably warm morning of October 9th, I ran my first 10k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was about 20 degrees warmer than I would have preferred but the sun was shining and Elm Creek Park reserve's display of fall foliage made for a gorgeous, albeit extremely hilly, run. Amber and I started out together, but around mile 2 a long slow incline separated us and we spent the remainder of the run on our own sojourn, fighting the hardest enemy of all: ourselves. 

When I said the course was hilly, I do not lie. It felt like the whole thing was a series of varying sizes of hills with very few downhill relief points. It was TOUGH!  Luckily for me, I live in a very hilly suburb so the majority of my runs involve hills. I also tend to run faster uphill because I just want to get it over with quickly and then "rest" on the downhills and straightaways. It was enough hills that by the last couple series of hills I was swearing to myself and wishing I could just stop, but knowing that I would feel worse if I did. So I kept pushing onward.

From Mile 2 to around mile 4 I ran with a fellow 1st 10k-er and it was going well. She had one of those sophisticated watches that told you distance and pace. I lost her at mile 4 though when she decided to walk through the water stop and I kept going. From there on I was back to being completely by myself. I think Mile 2 to 4 were actually the hardest because they felt like they were dragging to me. At Mile 5, a volunteer was giving each passing runner an update on time. I crossed mile 5 at 56 min 40 seconds! Wow! That really gave me an idea that I was going to make my goal of 72-75 minutes, little did I  know I was actually going to come in UNDER my goal. I hit the 6 mile marker and began my descent to the finish line and even managed to sprint across the finish line. And promptly wanted to throw up. That last push and all those hills really took a lot out of me.

Time I saw when I crossed: 70 min 30 sec!!!!

Later today I found out my actual time: 69 min, 58 seconds!!!! So I completely blew my goal out of the water and came in under 70 minutes!

Amber followed in a couple minutes behind at 72 min, 40 sec. 

I celebrated tonight with a few things

1) Totally took about a 1/2 hour nap this afternoon

2) No food tracking

3) because of no tracking, I essentially let myself have whatever I wanted because gosh darn it, I deserved it as a reward for achieving my goal

Oh yeah, Icing on the cake, I weighed in at 137.6! Down 11 pounds since July.

I feel amazing, proud, grateful and fired up for my next goal and to keep running. 

My sleep personality

and what it says about me:


I found this article on MSN and couldn't help delving into it. I've decided that I am a cross between:

The Late-to-Bed, Late-to-Rise Sleeper

If you’re more productive, alive and energetic at night, you’re an owl. Your alarm clock—if you even have one—is likely buried under a pillow. Smolensky describes a classmate who would call wake-up services, set multiple alarms to ring and blast music, yet was still unable to get out of bed in the morning. Even though he forced himself to stay in when he had morning classes, he still couldn’t fall asleep early at night—and had to drop out of graduate school. Fortunately, most owls aren’t that extreme.
Owls are best left undisturbed before they've had their cup of coffee. In contrast to larks, low moods typically occur upon awakening, but mid-morning and late evenings are creative peaks.   
“Owls seem to be more outgoing and social,” says Smolensky, “They also tend to be risk-takers.”  
Teenagers are notorious owls—at puberty, the body clock changes and even those who tend to be lark-like become more nocturnal until their mid- to late 20s, when they revert to their more usual patterns. 
Though most owls are able to adjust to the 9-5 work routine, extreme night owls may feel completely out of synch in such an environment. Consider a night shift, or a job you can do from home, on your own schedule.

The Long Sleeper

Another way in which our sleep styles vary involves how long we like to sleep. If you crave a lot of sleep—even more than eight hours per night—it's likely you fall into the category of “people who need people,” as the Streisand song goes. 
Norah Vincent, Ph.D., an associate professor and clinical psychologist at the University of Manitoba in Canada, conducted a large study examining the relationship between sleep and personality in nearly 6,000 Americans. 
"People who were more reliant on others for good feelings about themselves tend to sleep significantly longer,” she says, noting that there's nothing abnormal about this, it's just a measure on which people vary significantly.
However, long sleepers do have a tendency toward depression, a condition that is also very sensitive to the amount of social support people have in their lives. Staying in close touch with family and friends improves health for virtually everyone—but long sleepers should keep these ties strong and active.

I am happiest when I stay up til about 11:30-1am and rise about 8-10am. This is why 8am classes were near impossible for me to succeed in because I could not get adequate sleep hours in and my brain just does not function that wonderfully early in the morning. When I open at the coffee shop (5am) I have many problems with basic things like counting and even forming sentences --until the caffeine kicks in artificially waking me up. Its why the best chemistry class I had occurred at 10am. I could never process complex material at 8am. 

Its why I forever feel like I'm an owl trying to succeed in a early bird world. the proverbial square peg in a round hole situation...

I'm also a dreaming sleeper which helps explain my creativity. 

Who's ready for 10K???

I am! I am! 

OMG! 

My 2.5 month journey is coming to an end. The day is quickly approaching and is less than a week away!!  To be honest, I didn't really think I'd actually follow through with this. I figured I'd hit a wall at 4 miles and never make it that extra push to 6.2. 

I also didn't have any idea the intangible changes as well as the physical changes that would occur.

Physical Changes:

Weight lost: 10.0 pounds since July

Measurements:

    Just under bust: 30"   ------  -3.5"

    Waist: 32"  -----   -2.5"

    Hips: 38.5" ----- -2.0"

    Thighs: 23.5" (R), 23" (left) ---- -1.0"

Average pace: July: 13 minute mile

                     October: 10-12 minute miles

Intangibles:

 I just plain feel better about myself and carry myself with more confidence. Setting a goal and seeing those physical changes. Seeing my pace quicken. I can barely enunciate how I feel. 

I feel transformed, energized and once again grateful.