Hope Sinks

Hope sinks

That's right, instead of hope floating above all crap that's trying to weigh it down, it sinks as more and more crap piles on top of it.

I started my pt job and that feels good. But the hope of another job so that I can get off unemployment is what is sinking. I just keep feeling like I'm not truly qualified to do anything. Any time I do start to let myself hope, monday comes around and I have to apply for unemployment again. I signed up for classes, but now I have to pay for them. I can't find any information on grants to pay for it and I really don't want to take out student loans.... at least not for this semester. I can't even afford to do a payment plan unless I completely wiped out all my $$ for the downpayment. I HATE BEING THIS STRESSED ABOUT MONEY!!!!!

Not completely unemployed

Well, now i won't be completely unemployed. I'll be "under-employed" part time. I got a job in a coffee shop which as long as I don't make too much, will still allow me to collect full unemployment. I'm looking forward to at least having something to wake up for and possibly having a job that's "fun" again.

Day 13 & 14: Today I am thankful for

This is it. I made it til Thanksgiving!

Day 13: I am thankful for: staying in touch with friends afar. I love when I can just get on the phone with a friend I haven't talked to in a while and we just pick up where we left off.

Day 14: Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am thankful for everyone and everything in my life.

Day 12 of thanks

Today I'm thankful for simplifying.

I bid my data plan farewell. That means my bill will shrink from $80/month to $45!!!!! It's a good thing. I needed to cancel it because my smart phone lcd screen died and i'm using an old school phone until i can afford a new one so a data plan is just a waste of money. Actually it was kind of a waste of money to begin with. It was nice to have when i needed google maps or when i was waiting in line for something and needed to kill time.... But when phone + data is costing 1 week of my share of my income, it's too much. I feel a slight weight lifted cancelling that.

So far (over the past 3 months) I've cut: gym has been put on hold(savings 70$/month), student loans have been deferred (savings $90/month), cell phone data plan cut (savings $35/month), audio book membership cut ($15/month).

Now that i've written that out, i realize how much money i waste and why i've been hemorrhaging money. Right there I had 86% of my money going to carrying costs.... wow.

BLAHHHH

Really sick of not having a job. At the end of this week it's been 6 months. Not going to be a very happy Christmas this year. I can't even afford to buy gifts for the people I love and care about. And I'm sorry, all those people who say, "oh the recession has taught us it's not about gifts, it's about togetherness, blah blah blah"... well they can just shove it. They can probably still afford gifts, they're just using the economy as a self righteous cop out. Because from where I'm standing I feel like an absolute failure.

Thankful Day 11

Today I am thankful for: The Jimmy Dean commercials with the people dressed up as planets and the sun. The whole being out of orbit scene and the peaceful way the sun prods the solar system to get in line thanks to Jimmy Dean sandwhiches makes me giggle. And the take away message of "You're all awesome" makes me smile.

I'm slacking.... Thankful days 9 and 10

Day 9: Today I am thankful for: wine. A great way to unwind

Day 10: Today I am thankful for: sleep. The bright side of not working is I've never been so well rested!