My friday evening has consisted of cooking (Italian baked chicken with peppers, garlic and onion; Garlic and Olive Oil vermicelli), cleaning, destroying the "pile(s)" of crap around the living room and paying bills....
Whoo. *insert sarcastic enthusiasm here* I love being an adult: NOT! I am really happy that the piles are tamed though.
I have a mess on my macys visa. The poor people in credit services will have a couple e-requests from me for clarification. From what I've figured out: 1 card somehow has 2 different account numbers - a store one and a general one. I can access the store one online, but can't get the other one. So I think I missed a payment on the general one. They called me back in August to schedule a payment which I obliged, but the amount they removed is more than the amount overdue (including fees). So trying to wade through two account histories and find this stuff is confusing me beyond all belief. Wouldn't it just be easier to have both accounts under the same area?
Wedding related stuff:
Since Branden talked me down from the ledge (of cancelling everything and just eloping), I just sent an email to that DJ we met with!!! Hopefully he's still available *crosses fingers*
Other stuff:
I'll be volunteering at the fair again this year. YAY! I love doing it and I get free admission for me and a friend. Smartly, I've spaced my shifts out: Saturday and Wednesday. No back to back fair days for me. It's fun, but it's just too much face time for me.
Alrighty, well time to relax after all this domestic goddess-ness....
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Freak out subsiding and my new "happy place"
Wedding Freak outs and Vacation porn
So I've been freaking out pretty hard core on the wedding thing. Not the whole idea of the wedding, just the cost. I'm a worrier like that and I really just needed to talk it out with dear fiance. This is when I'm reminded of how good we are together and the balance we bring to one another. I can be high strung and a bit of a worry wart when it comes to all things money. I see final numbers and freak out. I use the anxiety of my job hunt failures to draw greater meaning (if this were meant to happen, I'd have a real job by now, etc). Whereas he looks at the list of expenses and says, "what's the biggest check we'll have to write out and when will it have to be done? and What can we pay for little by little to ease the burden?" Just talking about those things really helped reign me back in. I really think this balance makes us a pretty healthy couple. Now we just need to work on our communication because it took me weeks to start vocalizing these concerns to him.
I still freak out a little at the expense of the wedding coupled with all the other things I want to do but I'm willing to get back into the planning...
Before all the wedding talk, dear fiance looked up vacations thanks to an email from a cruise line promoting deals. I will hereby refer to these emails and the subsequent searching as vacation porn. You know you can't have it but you sit and research it anyway. He found a 15 day cruise from Miami to Los Angeles (or vice versa, I can't remember) for $750/person! You even get to go through the Panama canal! How cool would that be? But alas, I certainly don't have $1000 lying around to pay for my half and he'd be using all of his money he needs to live. :( So there will be no vacation. Because honestly, vacation, wedding, season tickets for the Twins AND house renovations just can't happen when you have me underemployed and him not employed. Amazing how that works, huh? It did get us looking at impossible (financially out of reach) trips.
I officially picked out my absolute dream trip: Cruise from CA to Hawaii, Tahiti and on to Australia. Then spend 3 weeks touring Australia and New Zealand then fly home. It would be about a 6 week trip (!) and would cost somewhere around $10K. Other dream trips: 1 month in India; Icebreaker cruise to Australia (about $25K/person!!!), hiking up Kilamanjaro and seeing Victoria Falls; a Galapagos Islands tour coupled with a trip to Peru to Machu Pichu. Now if only I a) had a job that paid me to do those things or b) was a millionaire.... Don't see either of those happening any time soon, so these remain what they are: dream trips.
Now about my new "happy place". Full of poetic language too!
It happened this morning. It was a beautiful, crisp morning (makes my thoughts turn to apples, fall color, warm sweaters, and bonfires... I LOVE FALL and can't wait til its here!) and I met a fellow runner bright and early @ 6:05am. We set out on our run which was a great combination of hills and flat. As we approached the 2 mile mark, we hit the Purgatory Creek Park recreation area and the sun was rising higher above the horizon. A beautiful mysterious fog blanketed the watery/marsh area. It was so quiet as we looped the trail, running felt great. My stride felt natural and non-jarring, my whole body felt in sync with itself, too. As we started our way back, the sun at our backs, we chased our shadows onward towards home. In the whole 4.25 mile run, we did 2 small walking stretches and a cool down walk for a total of about 0.5 miles walking. I think today was the best 3.75 miles of running has EVER felt.
So I've been freaking out pretty hard core on the wedding thing. Not the whole idea of the wedding, just the cost. I'm a worrier like that and I really just needed to talk it out with dear fiance. This is when I'm reminded of how good we are together and the balance we bring to one another. I can be high strung and a bit of a worry wart when it comes to all things money. I see final numbers and freak out. I use the anxiety of my job hunt failures to draw greater meaning (if this were meant to happen, I'd have a real job by now, etc). Whereas he looks at the list of expenses and says, "what's the biggest check we'll have to write out and when will it have to be done? and What can we pay for little by little to ease the burden?" Just talking about those things really helped reign me back in. I really think this balance makes us a pretty healthy couple. Now we just need to work on our communication because it took me weeks to start vocalizing these concerns to him.
I still freak out a little at the expense of the wedding coupled with all the other things I want to do but I'm willing to get back into the planning...
Before all the wedding talk, dear fiance looked up vacations thanks to an email from a cruise line promoting deals. I will hereby refer to these emails and the subsequent searching as vacation porn. You know you can't have it but you sit and research it anyway. He found a 15 day cruise from Miami to Los Angeles (or vice versa, I can't remember) for $750/person! You even get to go through the Panama canal! How cool would that be? But alas, I certainly don't have $1000 lying around to pay for my half and he'd be using all of his money he needs to live. :( So there will be no vacation. Because honestly, vacation, wedding, season tickets for the Twins AND house renovations just can't happen when you have me underemployed and him not employed. Amazing how that works, huh? It did get us looking at impossible (financially out of reach) trips.
I officially picked out my absolute dream trip: Cruise from CA to Hawaii, Tahiti and on to Australia. Then spend 3 weeks touring Australia and New Zealand then fly home. It would be about a 6 week trip (!) and would cost somewhere around $10K. Other dream trips: 1 month in India; Icebreaker cruise to Australia (about $25K/person!!!), hiking up Kilamanjaro and seeing Victoria Falls; a Galapagos Islands tour coupled with a trip to Peru to Machu Pichu. Now if only I a) had a job that paid me to do those things or b) was a millionaire.... Don't see either of those happening any time soon, so these remain what they are: dream trips.
Now about my new "happy place". Full of poetic language too!
It happened this morning. It was a beautiful, crisp morning (makes my thoughts turn to apples, fall color, warm sweaters, and bonfires... I LOVE FALL and can't wait til its here!) and I met a fellow runner bright and early @ 6:05am. We set out on our run which was a great combination of hills and flat. As we approached the 2 mile mark, we hit the Purgatory Creek Park recreation area and the sun was rising higher above the horizon. A beautiful mysterious fog blanketed the watery/marsh area. It was so quiet as we looped the trail, running felt great. My stride felt natural and non-jarring, my whole body felt in sync with itself, too. As we started our way back, the sun at our backs, we chased our shadows onward towards home. In the whole 4.25 mile run, we did 2 small walking stretches and a cool down walk for a total of about 0.5 miles walking. I think today was the best 3.75 miles of running has EVER felt.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Milestone...
I hit my first milestone in my weight loss journey! I'm sitting at somewhere between 142 and 143.6 right now. That's 10 lbs lighter than I was @ New Years Day. It's between 7 and 8 lbs lighter than I was at the start of June!
Now, just 18 more to lose and all will be right with the world. My goal is 125. I know I can do it. I just need to not lose motivation as winter arrives....
It's still frustrating that I don't really see the loss as much as I thought I would, but encouraging that some of my pants which were tight on me are now loose.
Now, just 18 more to lose and all will be right with the world. My goal is 125. I know I can do it. I just need to not lose motivation as winter arrives....
It's still frustrating that I don't really see the loss as much as I thought I would, but encouraging that some of my pants which were tight on me are now loose.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The one where I ponder eloping
Yes, dear friends, followers. I yet again ponder why I'm doing all this planning for something that is ultimately beyond my means. I'm frustrated hoping that a job will magically appear and I'm sick of pretending everything is alright. I feel down right delusional planning a real wedding when I barely make enough to keep up month to month.
As much as I want the typical wedding experience, theres a voice of dissent within me that says we should just plan a little trip, invite a few family and friends and call it good. If my job situation turns around, then we could plan a reception for after we get back.
The part that sucks is I'll have to make a decision and stand by it at this point. I either need to move forward and start booking vendors (photog, dj, etc) OR cancel the whole thing and just tell people it's not happening on that date. The limbo part sucks. My mom was happy at my pseudo-revelation (as she doesn't want me to do a wedding... which may be why I'm holding on to doing one so badly). Fiance's mom was not happy and coming up with ideas that I absolutely hate (depending on their extended family members to provide services). Her wanting it to happen and refusing to understand that I'm beginning to view the whole thing as a waste of money makes me want to elope all that much more.
So as usual, I'm at odds with myself. Which one do I want to antagonize more: FMIL or Mom?
HA!
Best case scenario: an elopement that makes my mom be present and doesn't include ANY extended family whatsoever therefore bugging FMIL AND a reception that my mom HAS to be at. HA!
I'm feeling a bit snarky/bitchy. This process brings out the worst in me.
As much as I want the typical wedding experience, theres a voice of dissent within me that says we should just plan a little trip, invite a few family and friends and call it good. If my job situation turns around, then we could plan a reception for after we get back.
The part that sucks is I'll have to make a decision and stand by it at this point. I either need to move forward and start booking vendors (photog, dj, etc) OR cancel the whole thing and just tell people it's not happening on that date. The limbo part sucks. My mom was happy at my pseudo-revelation (as she doesn't want me to do a wedding... which may be why I'm holding on to doing one so badly). Fiance's mom was not happy and coming up with ideas that I absolutely hate (depending on their extended family members to provide services). Her wanting it to happen and refusing to understand that I'm beginning to view the whole thing as a waste of money makes me want to elope all that much more.
So as usual, I'm at odds with myself. Which one do I want to antagonize more: FMIL or Mom?
HA!
Best case scenario: an elopement that makes my mom be present and doesn't include ANY extended family whatsoever therefore bugging FMIL AND a reception that my mom HAS to be at. HA!
I'm feeling a bit snarky/bitchy. This process brings out the worst in me.
When the pants are loose... and a food rant.
Heck yeah! A pair of striped blue pants fit... take that back... have room to spare in them! Before they'd be a bit loose in the waist and borderline too tight in the thighs. I'm psyched! It feels good to see progress in the form of clothes fitting.
Today I went to the Minneapolis Farmer's market which was great! I've never really been to a big farmer's market like that. I also checked out an informational booth on a CSA @ the EP Dunn Brothers and I'm thinking it could be worth it if I split it with someone else --potentially one of my book club friends (the one I went to all of this with). I ended up getting like 6 peppers, bok choy, and a head of broccoli for $9. Maybe not much cheaper than the grocery store but all was locally grown which made me feel good.
Tonights menu will involve fajitas using those peppers and some peppers I received from a fellow member of my women's group. I'll be using the bok choy, peppers and broccoli for some homemade stir fry.
I constantly rotate between being fired up about where my food comes from and being food apathetic. It always happens when I'm reading something food/diet related and this is no exception. I'm reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver. It's about how her family decided to live off whatever they could grow themselves or get locally for food. It has recipes in it too which I may be stealing some of.
Also coinciding with my food conciousness, the big egg recall. It just bugs me that these outbreaks happen and on such a large scale. The food industry treats all of these as a "buyer beware" situation where it's up to the consumers to be responsible for thorough cooking of their food and constantly fight regulation and consumer protection measures that would put more accountability where its due: food processing and growing. It all really makes me hate our food system.
Today I went to the Minneapolis Farmer's market which was great! I've never really been to a big farmer's market like that. I also checked out an informational booth on a CSA @ the EP Dunn Brothers and I'm thinking it could be worth it if I split it with someone else --potentially one of my book club friends (the one I went to all of this with). I ended up getting like 6 peppers, bok choy, and a head of broccoli for $9. Maybe not much cheaper than the grocery store but all was locally grown which made me feel good.
Tonights menu will involve fajitas using those peppers and some peppers I received from a fellow member of my women's group. I'll be using the bok choy, peppers and broccoli for some homemade stir fry.
I constantly rotate between being fired up about where my food comes from and being food apathetic. It always happens when I'm reading something food/diet related and this is no exception. I'm reading "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver. It's about how her family decided to live off whatever they could grow themselves or get locally for food. It has recipes in it too which I may be stealing some of.
Also coinciding with my food conciousness, the big egg recall. It just bugs me that these outbreaks happen and on such a large scale. The food industry treats all of these as a "buyer beware" situation where it's up to the consumers to be responsible for thorough cooking of their food and constantly fight regulation and consumer protection measures that would put more accountability where its due: food processing and growing. It all really makes me hate our food system.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
7.5 miles done in 2 days
I ran about 7.5 miles in the past two days. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. I had the day off so I went running @ 6am with my running buddies. I picked out the path, but forgot we usually run the one woman home and meet her in between the two houses. Those extra jaunts took the run from 3.2 miles up to 4.0!
What else did I do on this dreary day off?
What else did I do on this dreary day off?
- wrote out thank you cards to the renewing members of my women's group
- folded laundry
- dyed my hair back to something that may be pretty close to my "natural" hair color.
What I wanted to accomplish in addition to the above list:
- apply for jobs
- clean the house
- grocery shopping.
Notice the things I didn't accomplish have to do with housework and job hunting.....
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The road to success is paved in pounds lost
Since starting this running thing in July, I have lost *drum roll please* approximately 5 lbs! It doesn't seem like much but it's a step in the right direction for sure. Since June, it's about 7 lbs.
I'll admit, about 2.5 weeks ago, I started losing steam. It got humid and I felt like I was over-training. I felt yucky more than I felt great. I'm hoping it was just a rut. I essentially took last week off except for a couple bike rides (3-6 miles) and 1 run last Thursday morning of about 2 miles. Tonight I got back on the proverbial horse and dragged myself out there. I'm so glad I did! I managed to get about 3.5 miles done which I've since bragged about on all my social networking stuff because that's what I do. :) I did it in 40.5 minutes. That's how long it took me to do the Children's Cancer 5K in June. So I managed to run almost a 1/2 mile more in the same amount of time.
I can feel that my legs are getting stronger. I can have the bike on a higher gear (4 or 5) for most of my ride! I'm going to be doing a 8.5 mile bike ride on Saturday night in Minneapolis which excites me.
People are noticing, too! A few weeks ago it came up when I was around my women's group. My cousin (one of the few I hear from) told my mom that she felt I looked like I was losing a bunch of weight in my picture. She then asked if I'm starving myself, which I'm most definitely not! I hate that people often think that the only way a person loses weight is through starvation. They never credit it to working hard to exercise and eat right. Even if that person has been posting updates about all the exercise he/she partakes in, Nope, must still be starvation. *rolls eyes*
Oh well. I know I'm doing things right. I'm losing at a proper pace and building strength at the same time. The biggest challenge will be as fall arrives and turns to winter. Getting downstairs and on the treadmill will be a definite hurdle as I've never been all that keen on treadmills for running. But if I want to keep losing weight, I'm going to have to do something or it'll all just pile right back on....
I'll admit, about 2.5 weeks ago, I started losing steam. It got humid and I felt like I was over-training. I felt yucky more than I felt great. I'm hoping it was just a rut. I essentially took last week off except for a couple bike rides (3-6 miles) and 1 run last Thursday morning of about 2 miles. Tonight I got back on the proverbial horse and dragged myself out there. I'm so glad I did! I managed to get about 3.5 miles done which I've since bragged about on all my social networking stuff because that's what I do. :) I did it in 40.5 minutes. That's how long it took me to do the Children's Cancer 5K in June. So I managed to run almost a 1/2 mile more in the same amount of time.
I can feel that my legs are getting stronger. I can have the bike on a higher gear (4 or 5) for most of my ride! I'm going to be doing a 8.5 mile bike ride on Saturday night in Minneapolis which excites me.
People are noticing, too! A few weeks ago it came up when I was around my women's group. My cousin (one of the few I hear from) told my mom that she felt I looked like I was losing a bunch of weight in my picture. She then asked if I'm starving myself, which I'm most definitely not! I hate that people often think that the only way a person loses weight is through starvation. They never credit it to working hard to exercise and eat right. Even if that person has been posting updates about all the exercise he/she partakes in, Nope, must still be starvation. *rolls eyes*
Oh well. I know I'm doing things right. I'm losing at a proper pace and building strength at the same time. The biggest challenge will be as fall arrives and turns to winter. Getting downstairs and on the treadmill will be a definite hurdle as I've never been all that keen on treadmills for running. But if I want to keep losing weight, I'm going to have to do something or it'll all just pile right back on....
Why can't I just make up my mind?
I need direction. Since being laid off I feel like I'm treading water, looking around in all directions for salvation. Completely lost. While I'm looking at all these directions, I'm not moving, just pondering where to go. I'm getting more tired but my indecisiveness is preventing me from doing anything.
*sigh.
Now again, I'm pondering another direction. This time it's a masters through St. Cloud State in Regulatory Affairs. The masters is offered in Maple Grove (25 minutes away). The huge medical device industry here could mean it would be a good path to take. And I'd get a masters and a potentially lucrative career path.
Let's see how long this one marinates and if I follow through at all...
*sigh.
Now again, I'm pondering another direction. This time it's a masters through St. Cloud State in Regulatory Affairs. The masters is offered in Maple Grove (25 minutes away). The huge medical device industry here could mean it would be a good path to take. And I'd get a masters and a potentially lucrative career path.
Let's see how long this one marinates and if I follow through at all...
Monday, August 16, 2010
Crashing after a Whirlwind weekend
So today I crash. Both emotionally and physically.
I spent about 23 hours out of 39 hours this weekend on the road. 16 hrs not in a car, 7 of which I was asleep. Talk about a whirlwind weekend! It was an absolute blast! I drank way too much caffeine, got to drive through Chicago (which I get a sort of sick thrill out of) and didn't sleep near enough! It was so much crazy random fun. I don't get to experience that too often and it kinda took me back to college for a moment.
The bad thing is the crash after all of that. Today reality sunk in. And of coure my birthday happened. I didn't do anything too special. A little trip to the outlet mall. I could have spent a small fortune in Gap outlet! I walked out with a pair of jeans, a pair of striped pants, 1 cardigan, 1 v neck sweater and 1 button down shirt! I managed to restain myself from buying more jeans. Walked right past the piles of t shirts and camis and getting a ton of the sweaters and cardigans. I'm really happy GAP has gone back to their preppy roots!
I also found out that dear fiance is looking at a 3 year minimum to go back to work. Apparently there hasn't been a single call in a while for work requests. The other thing I found out, the longest call an apprentice has gone on is 4 weeks. That's pretty bleak!! So much for that improving economy!
That new reality is a big downer. My lack of job coupled with absolutely no prospects for dear fiance has me seriously questioning whether I can even really plan a wedding. Well I take that back. I can plan a wedding. I just can't afford it. Also I can plan a wedding, I just can't have a reception at this rate. And that was the part I was looking forward to..... sigh.
So needless to say, a big time crash has occurred.
There were some brighter points aside from shopping: I rode my bike to Rainbow and then onto Beth's where we assembled a lasagna and took it to Toni. We also as a result got to see her newest little one. He's soooo tiny. Kinda weird holding on. Bt it was a good time catching up with her! I will admit, her 2.5 year old is more my speed. I can handle them when they can move themselves and talk and play. babies scare me. :)
ok well I've rambled enough. I time for bed!
I spent about 23 hours out of 39 hours this weekend on the road. 16 hrs not in a car, 7 of which I was asleep. Talk about a whirlwind weekend! It was an absolute blast! I drank way too much caffeine, got to drive through Chicago (which I get a sort of sick thrill out of) and didn't sleep near enough! It was so much crazy random fun. I don't get to experience that too often and it kinda took me back to college for a moment.
The bad thing is the crash after all of that. Today reality sunk in. And of coure my birthday happened. I didn't do anything too special. A little trip to the outlet mall. I could have spent a small fortune in Gap outlet! I walked out with a pair of jeans, a pair of striped pants, 1 cardigan, 1 v neck sweater and 1 button down shirt! I managed to restain myself from buying more jeans. Walked right past the piles of t shirts and camis and getting a ton of the sweaters and cardigans. I'm really happy GAP has gone back to their preppy roots!
I also found out that dear fiance is looking at a 3 year minimum to go back to work. Apparently there hasn't been a single call in a while for work requests. The other thing I found out, the longest call an apprentice has gone on is 4 weeks. That's pretty bleak!! So much for that improving economy!
That new reality is a big downer. My lack of job coupled with absolutely no prospects for dear fiance has me seriously questioning whether I can even really plan a wedding. Well I take that back. I can plan a wedding. I just can't afford it. Also I can plan a wedding, I just can't have a reception at this rate. And that was the part I was looking forward to..... sigh.
So needless to say, a big time crash has occurred.
There were some brighter points aside from shopping: I rode my bike to Rainbow and then onto Beth's where we assembled a lasagna and took it to Toni. We also as a result got to see her newest little one. He's soooo tiny. Kinda weird holding on. Bt it was a good time catching up with her! I will admit, her 2.5 year old is more my speed. I can handle them when they can move themselves and talk and play. babies scare me. :)
ok well I've rambled enough. I time for bed!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Ack.
My old job is open ... the one 90 miles away... not my cushy research job.
This is the 3rd time since I've been laid off that this job has been posted. It would solve and create many a problem.
This is the 3rd time since I've been laid off that this job has been posted. It would solve and create many a problem.
- Problems solved:
- Money
- Great insurance
- feelings of doing something with myself again.
- Problems created
- 90 mile 1 way commute
- the fact that I would be
- gone 14 hrs a day or have to "relocate" during the week
- Relationship strain. when I was living there it came to a point I had to leap and move or we weren't going to be able to move forward. Going back would take me back to that place and some pretty negative things around that time.
- Having to give up the organizations I belong to
- Losing the time to stay focused on my health.
- OH YEAH, I'd have to commit to that for 2 years!
Goodbye Purple Room...
When we bought our place, it was in disrepair. Many of the color choices the previous owners either chose for carpet or paint were questionable at best. The more projects I take on the more I discover old wall paper just painted over without removing or priming.
One particularly bad room was painted purple. I have nothing wrong with the color purple, I'm just not so keen on bright purple walls in a room with dark green carpet and low light levels. And I'm really not a fan of horribly painted purple. Up until now, we've just used it as a store room but eventually, it'll be a workout room or an office depending on our needs.
Today, I decided to clean up that room because the cats have been up to no good in there and I wanted to see what I'd unearth by cleaning it up. Well, as I was cleaning it out, I decided that because it was partially empty, I would just go ahead and start painting it! So the first coat is up. It looks pretty bad right now, but anything is better than that ugly purple! Even if it is a buttery shade of white that my parents gave me (they gave us like 4 gallons of high quality paint they had used in their house).
There are still purple parts though: prior owners did not believe in taping off the trim so it's all purple in places AND the baseboards were completely painted purple... *UGH! So that'll be next up on the agenda after the room is fully painted.
One particularly bad room was painted purple. I have nothing wrong with the color purple, I'm just not so keen on bright purple walls in a room with dark green carpet and low light levels. And I'm really not a fan of horribly painted purple. Up until now, we've just used it as a store room but eventually, it'll be a workout room or an office depending on our needs.
Today, I decided to clean up that room because the cats have been up to no good in there and I wanted to see what I'd unearth by cleaning it up. Well, as I was cleaning it out, I decided that because it was partially empty, I would just go ahead and start painting it! So the first coat is up. It looks pretty bad right now, but anything is better than that ugly purple! Even if it is a buttery shade of white that my parents gave me (they gave us like 4 gallons of high quality paint they had used in their house).
There are still purple parts though: prior owners did not believe in taping off the trim so it's all purple in places AND the baseboards were completely painted purple... *UGH! So that'll be next up on the agenda after the room is fully painted.
Cell phone rant.
I begin to feel like cell phones are a huge racket. Really, T-mobile: $80 for a phone that is 4 yr old technology? All because I won't sign a stupid contract extension. Such a rip off. Other companies were no better. I'm going through my anti-tech phase regarding cell phones. As much as I'd love to have a shiny new smartphone, I have a laptop @ home. I can't justify spending 80-90/month after taxes on a smart phone plan and on top of that the price of the phone. That's $30 a month I can be saving or doing something like eating.
So until my finances improve, I'll be rocking the old school - I can talk or text but nothing else really- phone. At least the new one will have the battery enclosed and some battery life.
So until my finances improve, I'll be rocking the old school - I can talk or text but nothing else really- phone. At least the new one will have the battery enclosed and some battery life.
Monday Monday...
Can't trust that day.....
Ugh. Had to open today. Woke up at 4:35am, got ready and went to leave and totally hit my mirror on the frame of the garage door....DOH!. Plastic piece on front of mirror fell off, mirror part fell off. The whole thing is back together now so no permanent damage done or parts needing replacement but it was definitely annoying as hell! And not the best way to start this week.
so yeah. that was the start of my day. Hope everyone elses started out better...
Ugh. Had to open today. Woke up at 4:35am, got ready and went to leave and totally hit my mirror on the frame of the garage door....DOH!. Plastic piece on front of mirror fell off, mirror part fell off. The whole thing is back together now so no permanent damage done or parts needing replacement but it was definitely annoying as hell! And not the best way to start this week.
so yeah. that was the start of my day. Hope everyone elses started out better...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tanning other thoughts
I've been bad.
I'm very tan. Why is bad? Doesn't every girl want to have nice radiantly tan skin? That "healthy" glow? After all, pasty white girls rarely make the magazine covers.
For me, this means I haven't been wearing my sunscreen. I've even burned two times this summer. Most people wouldn't bat an eye at that, but I'm not most people. I'm part of the ever growing mass of people who've had melanoma. I shouldn't be letting myself get tan like this, burn as I have.
The other thing I've been bad about: check ups. I haven't been keeping up my dermatology check ups to make sure my moles aren't changing. I keep my eye on them and there are a few I worry about. I know better. I have insurance now I should be finding one. Just one more thing on the list I'm putting off. For me it was never, will I get melanoma, it was "when will I get it?" Even after going under the knife and getting 5 incisions, I obviously haven't learned my lesson.
One thing I definitely refuse to see myself as is a "cancer survivor". It was just cut out. It wasn't treated. I didn't have to lose my hair. It wasn't "real" cancer in my eyes. So I always feel weird when people refer to me as a survivor because my life was never in question. I didn't really have to overcome any big hurdle. This perception of it as not real cancer is pervasive and probably why people ignore it until its too late.
*steps up on soap box
So my plans for fall include actually finding a doctor and getting back on track with these check ups. I owe it to myself to take this more seriously. And you owe it to yourself. Please check your moles. Know when one looks different than it used to and get it checked out.
*ok. Now I step off my soap box
I'm very tan. Why is bad? Doesn't every girl want to have nice radiantly tan skin? That "healthy" glow? After all, pasty white girls rarely make the magazine covers.
For me, this means I haven't been wearing my sunscreen. I've even burned two times this summer. Most people wouldn't bat an eye at that, but I'm not most people. I'm part of the ever growing mass of people who've had melanoma. I shouldn't be letting myself get tan like this, burn as I have.
The other thing I've been bad about: check ups. I haven't been keeping up my dermatology check ups to make sure my moles aren't changing. I keep my eye on them and there are a few I worry about. I know better. I have insurance now I should be finding one. Just one more thing on the list I'm putting off. For me it was never, will I get melanoma, it was "when will I get it?" Even after going under the knife and getting 5 incisions, I obviously haven't learned my lesson.
One thing I definitely refuse to see myself as is a "cancer survivor". It was just cut out. It wasn't treated. I didn't have to lose my hair. It wasn't "real" cancer in my eyes. So I always feel weird when people refer to me as a survivor because my life was never in question. I didn't really have to overcome any big hurdle. This perception of it as not real cancer is pervasive and probably why people ignore it until its too late.
*steps up on soap box
So my plans for fall include actually finding a doctor and getting back on track with these check ups. I owe it to myself to take this more seriously. And you owe it to yourself. Please check your moles. Know when one looks different than it used to and get it checked out.
*ok. Now I step off my soap box
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Funny story...
Today at work, I was recalling a call from a recruiter for the army when I was in high school. I reminisced about telling the recruiter how I wasn't fit for the army because I:
- DID NOT run
- Had no desire to ever wake up at 5am.
She gave me this look of disbelief and I was snapped back into what is my new reality: that I do in fact run and I routinely have to be to work by 5am and I'm pretty darn perky, even on my bad days. How I've changed!
Its also my birthday in less than 11 days. I'll be 29. Not all that old, but thinking back to this conversation with the military recruiter and realizing it happened over 11 years ago. But even just 2 years ago, I'd never imagine running and craving it.
I'd never imagine getting on my bike and biking 9.4 miles just because I felt like it. More on my biking adventures another time.
What changed in me?
Nothing major changed in me. There was no "ah-ha" moment of clarity, no death of a loved one forcing me to question my mortality, etc. It was just a combination of desire and opportunity/a friend to do it with me. I needed that extrinsic motivation to get up. As we started training, it was focused on intervals. Running 20 minutes wasn't as intimidating because it was being broken up into 1 minute chunks. It also served a great purpose in taking my mind off the loss of my job and the grief process I was going through associated with that. Then I did a 5K and promptly stopped running/exercises. But unlike previous work out attempts where I stopped and never looked back, all year into the winter I thought back longingly on the feel of running and craved to get back out there.
So this year, I did two 5k's without training and as I previously posted about, I set my sites on more and as they say, the rest is history. I am a runner. Not necessarily a good one or a fast one but nonetheless a runner. Wanna find me? The open road and trails are my home. Just follow the size 5 foot prints. :)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
long run.. kind of.
It was a long run for sure. Not the 4.5 miles it could have been, but I still managed to eek out 4.1! Leave it to me to be slightly disappointed by ONLY doing 4.1 miles.... As usual, I set out with no real plan of going that far. Lately it feels like when I run I'm not finding my rhythm as easily as I used to. But at the same time, I'm able to go further and push through. My sheer stubborn-ness keeps me running. Those excuses I used to find to not run have evaporated. The weather is less of a deterrent. Granted, it was still really warm @ 7pm but at least there was a breeze and the humidity had broken slightly since yesterday. About the only excuse that still gets me is when I'm just plain too tired.
Stats: 4.1 miles. 49 minutes.
While running I was guessing at an approximate distance and per a training article I read, focusing on the minutes, not the miles I was logging. I was sure when I was done I maybe had managed 3.5..... logged it in sparkpeople only to find out it was 4.1. I love when it works out to be more than I thought, rather than less like it has been a couple times in the past!
Stats: 4.1 miles. 49 minutes.
While running I was guessing at an approximate distance and per a training article I read, focusing on the minutes, not the miles I was logging. I was sure when I was done I maybe had managed 3.5..... logged it in sparkpeople only to find out it was 4.1. I love when it works out to be more than I thought, rather than less like it has been a couple times in the past!
Diet FAIL
Today's diet starting off promising.....
I got up in time to get ready for work and managed to actually eat something before work. But by 8am, I was soooo hungry. I almost felt worse than days when I don't eat breakfast. I resisted the urge to have anything from work, but then at the networking group I am trying to attend when I'm off, I ate a huge chocolate frosted donut. I can't begin to imagine how much that set me back.
The absolute kick in the pants: I'm still HUNGRY.
ARGGHHH.
I got up in time to get ready for work and managed to actually eat something before work. But by 8am, I was soooo hungry. I almost felt worse than days when I don't eat breakfast. I resisted the urge to have anything from work, but then at the networking group I am trying to attend when I'm off, I ate a huge chocolate frosted donut. I can't begin to imagine how much that set me back.
The absolute kick in the pants: I'm still HUNGRY.
ARGGHHH.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Weight Watchers, week 1
Today is Day 6 of tracking. I fell off the map for a couple days, during which I went way over! 2 big days of drinking will do that... Luckily that is by no means the norm for me anymore. No wonder I gained so much those last couple years of college.
I've lost about 3 pounds since I started running and also being cautious about my eating habits. Now that I'm tracking on the weight watchers, I'm hoping I can continue the momentum and really start seeing the difference in me that everyone else seems to be seeing.
I've lost about 3 pounds since I started running and also being cautious about my eating habits. Now that I'm tracking on the weight watchers, I'm hoping I can continue the momentum and really start seeing the difference in me that everyone else seems to be seeing.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
exercise in narcissism
I've created my wedding planning bio website. On top of the recently created twitter account, having 2 blogs AND facebook, I feel I'm moving deeper into my own narcissism. But the planning site is good because I can post all of my inspirations in one place and see how it all flows together. Feel free to check it out if you want to see some of the stuff I've come up with. Most of the ideas are under the aptly titled "ideas" tab....
http://brandenerin2011.weebly.com/ideas.html
http://brandenerin2011.weebly.com/ideas.html
How's the running?
Running is going ok. I went for 2.4 miles this morning with a friend visiting from Rochester. She's definitely faster/better runner than me so I felt a little like I was holding her back, but we still had a good time. She really liked the trail I took her on.
Lack of cross training is still definitely hurting me so to encourage/motivate myself, I purchased a bike helmet (my first one since high school) and some padded bike shorts to help mitigate the pain from the bike seat on my seat. I figure if I'm going to do an 8.5 mile bike ride in 20 days, I better be ready and at least make some attempts to get out there and ride.....
Lack of cross training is still definitely hurting me so to encourage/motivate myself, I purchased a bike helmet (my first one since high school) and some padded bike shorts to help mitigate the pain from the bike seat on my seat. I figure if I'm going to do an 8.5 mile bike ride in 20 days, I better be ready and at least make some attempts to get out there and ride.....
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