Crabby and annoyed

Mostly @ dear fiance. Really want to smack him upside the head about now. I actually wanted to a couple hours ago, and the feeling hasn't subsided much. There are days when our differences are just so blatantly obvious that I just can't understand him and his motives for life.

The big one I can't understand is the complete lack of motivation. I got a call offering him a day job installing an outlet for a dryer (hello! easy, under the table money here!) and he just gave me this look of, "why would I ever want to do that?". Then at dinner, I found out he gets to take his test to move up to journeyman (not that this really matters because he'll just go to being #900something on the list of laid off journeymen electricians), but it would have been nice if he would at least tell me things like this. Not have me randomly ask him a question and then act like I'm so out of touch on that because it happened ages ago and I was magically supposed to know this/intuit this. Icing on the cake: I innocently asked if he'd heard of any travel opportunities for electricians (when we were house hunting he was offered the chance to go to Vegas to work and then later he got offered North Dakota) and he snipped back that, "Nope. Not even travel to other people's houses". I have never wanted to throw something at him quite so badly as I did at that moment.

And if I even try to ask anything wedding related, he just clams up into his "I don't care-I don't have an opinion-but I really do have one I'm just not going to vocalize it" mode. I took him to potential new ceremony site and he wouldn't even make a single comment on if he liked things about it or not. I feel like I'm beating my fucking head against a brick wall. Actually, some days, that would be more pleasurable than dealing with this. I feel like I'm working my ass off trying to stay afloat and he's perfectly happy just being pulled behind me on his intertube.

All of  these issues come to a head every once and awhile. Today is that day for me because I had less than  4 hrs sleep, worked all day, had to stay 1.5 hrs late. I'm crabby and have limited bullshit tolerance and everything that's gone on today from the moment I got home has felt like a whole bunch of it.

I need to stop venting because it's only opening a seething wound right now and I'm getting a lot of mean thoughts rolling out. Which is completely counter productive.

Time to go for a bike ride.